Tonedeff, Fjer - More Like You lyrics
[Tonedeff, Fjer - More Like You lyrics]
Seven years of strength
To clear my face of the pillow
I feel your weight
I remember the wet material ’s taste
Threads drenched with spit and
Tears on the case if he put me to rest
Then it’s here that I’d lay
Just as my breath disappears
They peel you away
Protesting and smearing your name
The resentment and fear and anger contained
In your beer ridden gaze
Are etched in and seared in my brain
That memory’s clear as the day
You attempted to seal my fate
But, I know that you love me
Though you tried to drown your
Son with your sorrows
You’d rather choke me than hug me
I learned that I was
Promised nothing tomorrow
You were so fucking ugly
That it gored my mind
So I hate that your mug
Is looking more like mine
No matter how much I scrub
It’s getting worn by time
Isn’t the irony humbling?
Listen, I just don’t know how else
I’m s’posed to say this
But, I hated your guts through the 80's
And maybe ‘91 at the latest
Don’t play it like this
Statement here’s belated
Cause, there is a type of pain that’ll
Stay with you way into later ages
And since anger is the
Stage that follows denial
Well, this phase of bargaining’s
How I can face
You to blame you for these behaviors
You’re the basis for my values
Though I’ve changed within
You still have to appraise the painting
By the frame it’s in
And, the traces are paper thin the saying
Is ‘blood is thicker than water’
Cause no one can strain or rinse
Off the sins of the father
A major difference from mothers
Sisters & daughters
We’re raised to live up to similar bars
And yet one’s the signature product
So the pressure’s on you "The
Stress is hard!" Cool
The lessons start and they’re cruel
It’s a messy job, but you do it
So, let’s be honest in full that
We’d best acknowledge the truth
Our resemblance stopped when you ruined an
Immense part of my youth
Talk when I'm through
I live in the fear of -
Reflections getting clearer
As years go by, I see the proof
I look more and more like you
More and more like you
Oh, what a conquest! I’m everything
You wish you could be
You were always in conflict and distant
So resisting to speak
You’re an accomplice in bringing out
The victim in me
No matter what I accomplish - I’m still
Living with this glint of defeat
The issues that seem insistent on
Clinging from our history is
I was the kid you would beat
When pissed at my sisters for things
Admittedly, you exhibited clear cut chivalry
Here in this scene
Couldn’t hit them women - who isn’t your seed
Or whipping on me with a thick metal buckle
Because I had tripped up my niece
Or I misplaced a shoe when fitting to leave
Giving me grief, Military steeze discipline
Grill to grill like a drill
Sergeant, bark on a six-year-old
Rinse & repeat
Or pinning my twisted addiction to sleaze
Begins with the pictures & zines
You hid, as I leaped
The mattress slid underneath
Perhaps the 15 years it took
You to visit jilted me skipped the greeting
Dipped and used my crib like
A Hilton to sleep
For a night, oh that’s right
Still pissed at my decision to flee
The difference between is and isn’t
Just in our genes with limited means
Neither quit and the ship didn’t sink
We’re living symbols of the immigrant dream
Now, peep the rifts in our symmetry
Your story’s so tragic - On some Dickens
Shit you could lift from a page
You thought your father was
Absent but your mother
Stole you off then shipped you away
And though you had no examples
And no authority figure to chase
You taught your son what a man
Was, even though you were lost
You’d spin in one place
Bitter frustration became centrifugal
Rage as you flipped your shit for a chick
With 5 kids to her name, you overcommitted
Filled up your plate
A way to fix what you missed
In the case of family
A slave to decisions you made at 20
- now with an infant to blame
Driven insane quick to dismay drink
Yourself to a primitive state
I know how addictions limit the pain
So, you get your kicks when you stray
It’s a vicious cycle decaying your platelets
So when you get sick it's your end of days
But it isn’t, your Mrs nurses
You back to existence, you’ve changed
A new beginning but your ambition’s the same
I wish you’d quit playing the victim
Switch up the aim
Live for the day and then rage
While it’s still in the tank
Listen to a son with no children to raise
A son who’s afraid that his
Image will mimic mistakes
A son who’s drifting in
Space, but inches away, fit with your face
Before this shit gets too late, then listen
This is my forgiveness in spades
If you could
Erase the things you’d said and done
Would you? Or is your only answer to run?
Run from my childhood run from your guilt
See how you shattered me and buried yourself
My silhouette has been cut from your past
I will forgive you - as
Your face becomes my mask