Tripod - The Hot Dog Man lyrics

The hot dog man is packing up

Scrapes the onion grease into a cup
To use again another day

Other hot dog men might reuse their cheese
But never this hot dog man
He whistles a tune and bobs his head
While sweeping out floor of his van

The hot dog man once tried a line
In gelati and soft serve treats
But they didn't last long in the bain marie
In amongst the steaming meats

The sauce bottle nozzles clog up everyday
He is always surprised by how much
A friend once suggested the sachets
But he prefers the personal touch

The hot dog man the hot dog man




The hot dog man attends the normal events
(The hot dog man)
Such as concerts and football games
Has his regulars at the stadium
(The hot dog man)
He takes the time to learn all their names

Whilst he knows it's
A professional relationship
(The hot dog man)
He always asks about their lives
Says, "How are the kids? Is
Your mum still well?" (The hot dog man)


The hot dog man maintains his van
He works on it meticulously
He'd have it done by a mechanic
But who would take as much care as he?

The hot dog man drops his daughter off
At ballet practice three times a week
He jokingly asks, "Am I taxi?"
She laughs and smiles and kisses his cheek


The hot dog man

The hot dog man


The hot dog man earns a modest amount
His overheads are more than you'd think
When you add up the cost of his hobby
Plus the wholesale price of the drinks

The hot dog man has certain needs
Not all of which his wife can fulfill
He also has his favourite TV shows
The one he likes the most is "The Bill"

The hot dog man knows his hardware
(The hot dog man)
Has certain brands he tends to prefer
He's been fitting out his cellar
(The hot dog man)
But he's not at all a wine connoisseur

The hot dog man drives his hot dog van
(The hot dog man)
In circuit's round the local reserve
He drives slowly but not too slowly
(The hot dog man)
Casual so as not to unnerve

The hotdog man

The hot dog man


The hot dog man has cool room
With independent power supply
Has a table on wheels and a light source
He performs his operations by

The hot dog man's identity

Changes every now and again
For a time he was a woman
Or at least he wore a woman's skin


If you listen hard in the dead of night
Is that a scratching sound you can hear
We use the word evil so liberally -

STOP! STOP THE fuckING SONG! Stop this
Stop it! What are you doing
To the hot dog man? What?
What have you done to him?
What do you mean what have we done to
Him? It's a whole range of factors
It wasn't just us yeah
No, no! I mean, you know
It's a whole nature vs nurture issue
Just no!
He might have parental problems, who
Knows? Maybe he's just evil
We just don't know
Wait, he doesn't - he doesn't
Have to be evil, though -
What? No, he doesn't! Why can't - here's an
Idea, woo Gatesy! - why don't, why don't
We make the hot dog man a nice
Hot dog man again? Hey? You know
Remember? Haha! Remember:

The hot dog man is packing up
He's twisting all the ties on the bun bags
Um, puts the ice bucket back in the freezer
Where he also keeps the human heads

NOOOOO! Well, okay
Come on, come on!
Come on, he's a multi dimensional character!
Come on, Gatesy
Don't you think we're all a hot
Dog man deep down inside? No!
It about the complexity of
Human relationshipsand knives
I've been doing a course at the Council
Of Adult Education in Advanced Linguology
That's the name of the subject
What's linguology?
Dunno, we haven't done that
Yet and we're studying
The whole phenomenon of prefixes, you know
Words with little words on the front of
Them, like in or un or ex
And the interesting thing is a lot
Of the words that have prefixes
On them seem to, well, once
They have the prefix
Seem to be the opposite of words
That don't even seem to
Exist for example, "incessant
" take the "in" off that and
You've got "cessant" "I'm too
Cessant for my car
" what the hell is that? Never heard that
It's not a word
So I thought I'd write a song with
A whole lot of words in that