Tsu Surf, Joe Budden - Conversations lyrics

Constantly accomplishin' all of
These new accomplishments
Sometimes I wake up and feel like I ain't
Really accomplished shit
Honestly it's stressful
Thoughts as random as this bitch
That I'm next to
I know this conversation probably
Like pot to kettle i need your opinion
I could possibly be trippin'
My conclusions all the same, it be like
"Fuck it or Smith'n"
I need logic, I got skeletons in my closet
Won't say I'm tryin' to clean it up
Just sort it out
Sharin' with you shit that I thought about
Can't stop dreamin' 'bout
Joe, how I get these demons out?
Voices in my head, I need to scream it out
Man, I did bad things
I ain't proud and I ain't glad things
They was tryna press me
I gave 'em Jordan that's mad rings
Buncha shit
Tell me how you think I should handle it
Or manage it, fuck
I wasn't ready for this camera shit
And grandma's sick, goddamn, man
Grandma's sick
Fuck, I'm probably ramblin', shit
Here I go ramblin'

Somethin' gotta give with it
You don't get rid of your demons
You learn to live with it 4
5th in the capsule
Painkillers for the nights you
Get sick with it
Blinders over your eyes, my nigga
Shit's vivid get livid, shit twisted
It'll happen like a bad disaster
And niggas see you like a battle rapper
But, you your own worst enemy
So when you leave Smack you have
To have a real battle after

You right
But I lost three homies in like four weeks
Same place I call home
Nothin' about Newark sweet
And I don't keep it on me
Just so I could hold heat
I keep it ‘cause the reaper layin'
Niggas in these cold streets
If I go, how my daughter gon' eat?
Who gon' tell her right from wrong?
How my mama gon' sleep?
Sheesh! They say when you speak it
You bring it in the flesh
Few of my niggas left
And I'm feelin' like a nigga next

My nigga, stop it
You got time on your side like that Glock is
That paranoia got you obnoxious
Let me paint an angle:
You ain't lose friends, you gained angels
So before bed you should be sayin' thank you
And oh, far as your seed
Just be there and stay put
I only see mine on my baby mother's Facebook
You got a hand in rap and one in the streets
Gotta be faithful to one when
Them two sides meet

Me and my baby mama tried
To work it out again same results
Was just runnin' her mouth again
Pushed me away, I won't lie
I dipped out again
Here I go tryin' to freshly
Paint an old house again
Do they always leave with more
Than they came with?
Text you like they changed
Turn around and be the same bitch
Man, I need answers, Joe, I need answers

Look, get you some shit to roll
A little cancer
Get you a stack of ones, a couple dancers
They'll make you king for the night
Or maybe chancellor
She'll think you still in the hood
Standin' on Chancellor
Baby mom's wild whenever they
Get to chance to
Useless arguments I never been a fan of
That's 18 years of dealin' with the banter
Restraining order
She'll violate if you don't ban her
That's payback for all the bullshit
She think you hand her

Okay, well, Tylenol bottles full of Xans
Couple 100's, couple bitches now
I guess I got plans
Can't let her get the best of me
First she say "fuck it
" now she paragraph textin' me
I'm the reason we like this, well, allegedly
Thoughts all scrambled
Other bitches keep eggin' me
Buggin' out, fall asleep
Creepin' turn to breakfast at another house
Wild sex with bitches that barely
Give they number out
Always start with a chill
Before the sex, before the feelings
Before shit get real
For real, I felt like I ain't need her
Felt shit change and started
Confidin' in Karisha
Swear it was somethin' I ain't mean to do
Then stopped givin' a fuck
When I found out she
Cheated too unbelievable!
Who coulda guessed a nigga
Stressin' said F it?
Rebounds turned into a new possession
Shit's gettin' hectic

New possession, same shot clock
Funny wherever I go, them same thots watch
When in VIP unscrewin', playin' Cîroc top
So she think I'll jump for
The box playin' hopscotch
But, I can't give you girl advice
Not when I used to use girls as a vice
Shit, sex was a drug, the orgasm
Was a high on it's own, man
Knew they was addicted
They never got with the program
Or was it codependency?
In reverse, did I need them to depend on me?
Showin' unconditional love, no contingency
Though I knew it wouldn't last
I pretended to be my aura never came off
As apprehensive at least
So if you listenin', please
Don't take this offensively
It wasn't meant to be
You took a ride with the devil
Jekyll and Hyde
Makes sense that I was hidin' Jekyll
They couldn't take it any longer from me
So, it's odd they all moved
Around the corner from me
Maybe they hopin' we'll run into each other
That'll ruin you, sorta like a car to a deer
That's what y'all are to me, my dear
Do you sleep better knowin' that a
Part of me is near?
But, I'm so outta love you
Gotta pardon if I care
I swear, the distaste stems from this space
I think the love is lost
They think it's misplaced

I think it's like
Suddenly every bitch got time
When I'm back home, I be feelin' like LeBron
They say, "You made it!"
I'm just thinkin' in my mind
Like I ain't made it 'til I made
A safe haven for my mom
I think I fucked up too many times
Don't think she fully understand
The whole grind
Wonder if Alana know why daddy go
She can't get Doc mixed up as her daddy, bro

I been there, playin' a role
Couldn't take it they told me you gotta fake
It 'til you make it against my will I tried
Everything to embrace it
And then I transformed into
Everything that I hated
I always picture me spendin'
Bank in the district
Then I learned you get famous
Before you get rich
They'll think you ballin'
You might have to bounce on
Dudes countin' your money
You thought that you could count on

Called my phone
Tryin' to book me for a fuckin' battle
I'm still havin' battles of my own
Some battles I don't feel
Strong enough to win even if I did
I rarely win them battles with Patron
So pessimistic, I need to stop it
This shit ain't easy alana called me
Yellin': "Daddy! I see you on TV!"
Why I be feelin' stuck and shit
Like this money ain't cuttin' it?

Different stages, different phases
Different animals, different cages
Different charges, that's different cases
Been the same me all
Along with different aces every month
Different cops kill different faces
They indifferent
Wish it was happenin' to different races
Different decade
Can't tell we in different ages
Same gang, same result, just different places

I been tryin' to separate my
Wants from my needs
Mom said I'm like my pops
"That apple don't fall far from that tree"
I couldn't quote her
If he was anything like me
We would definitely be closer
But she kinda got a point
Man, I need to roll another joint
So much come with that pop shit
Whoever confronted that pop shit
Deffo wish we was closer, I hate it
But I chuck it up
I was in the streets, a lost cause
I probably fucked it up
I was younger though, that was just a lesson
He left him when he really needed protection
Say he and him, I hate sayin' us
Late nights I was stayin' up
Waitin', fell asleep, thinkin' I hate him
Cold hearted ‘cause I gotta be
He ain't have to lie to me
Man, why this shit even still bother me?

Hold up, we all been fatherless
At thirteen I thought mine ain't
Wanna be bothered with
But life come at you fast
Buckle up or get buckled
There'll be harder hit's
Learn to guard your shit
Regardless of what is far as demons
Gotta live with monsters at the crib
I got experience you need a nigga
Holla at the kid and I'll tell you how to
Grow up better than myself
Just some lessons that nobody
Knows better than myself it's Joe