Ward Thomas - Town Called Ugley lyrics

We left in plenty of time
And thank God we did
The clock kept screaming the time
And the tyres skid
Turn left, about a half hour later
We were right back where we began
When we started this trip
Wasn't just my mood that was going downhill
Even felt we were being pursued
When the car stood still
Turn right, the Tom Tom said
I wanna chuck it right out of the
Car and leave it for dead

I swear we drove right past
'The Old King's Head'
Twenty five times or more
The wipers stopped and Catherine said
"I can't take this anymore"
So Lizzy jumped out and took the wheel
She could've took us to the moon and back
By the time that we got
Out and slammed the door
In a town called Ugley

We swerved more than a couple of
Times for a black alpaca
Delayed in every kind of way
So time was a factor
Only made worse by a broken down tractor
Turn round, and slam on the brake
Or we will drive right down the
Road to find our next mistake

I swear we drove right past
'The Old King's Head'
Twenty five times or more
The wipers stopped and Catherine said
"I can't take this anymore"
So Lizzy jumped out and took the wheel
She could've took us to the moon and back
By the time that we got
Out and slammed the door
In a town called Ugley

So after driving right past
The 'Old Kings Head'
Fifty five times or more
The tyre's flat and the battery's dead
It doesn't matter any more
We survived this drive to tell this tale
What the hell did we come here for?
We couldn't wait to get out
And finally slam the door

On a town that bloody town
It's a cotton-picking town called Ugley, yeah