Watsky - Drunk Text Message to God lyrics
[Watsky - Drunk Text Message to God lyrics]
I’m not trying to brag or
Anything but I’m going
To tell you about my night last night
Had a couple beers, ya know
Yeah, got a little tipsy
Got a little existential crisis-y
Last night I drunk text messaged God
I just wanted to tell him
I’d been thinkin’ about him a lot
And to tell him I’m stalking a church
I meant to write starting a church
No one spells drunk texts right, anyway
Last night I sent out a
Buttload of embarrassing texts
And then copied them to everyone I know
Like "Yo" like "Sup"
I was out sinning curled in a bed
The room is spinning it’s all in my head
I can’t get to sleep
And the weight of the world
Is the weight of my sheets
Here’s the great thing about my church:
You can keep your religion ‘cause my
Church is for those of
Us who grew up wishing we
Believed in an afterlife
And for those of us who were so close to god
We could practically lean over and
Make out with her
My church is sick of bloody crusades
To the march of drum corps
I’ll start a church that gets pissed
Off and starts thumb wars
Maybe a church that gets Mondays
Off for religion reasons
A church that throws phone parties in
Elevators to learn about praise
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
We’ll dance as it burns for 8 magical days
That was a Jewish reference
No offense to Gideon bibles but
My church goes into hotel
Rooms and fills up the drawers
With chocolate pillow mints
And my church, if you choose
To come to Sunday school
You don’t learn about hell hell no
You eat Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert shaped
Potato chips and watch Chapelle’s show
My church had 10 commandments, 5 precepts
And a workplace abuse handbook but we
Partied hard last week and
I think we left them in
A restroom at Chuckie Cheese
Now we just go by a picture of a
Heart that I found on a bar napkin
My church tongue-kissed your mom last night
Um, I’m just kidding
She left 5 red fingers across my face
We hung out with the creator
I think she loves you she’s beautiful
She’s got ‘daughter’ tattooed on
Her left bicep ‘Son’ on her right
My church is at the center of the planet
And has the most
Amazing stained-glass windows
The glass is the floor of the ocean
The colors are where you look up
And see blue and a manatee i love manatees
And the forest canopy
Tony Montana comes to my church and forgets
He left his cocaine in the car
We play "Stairway to Heaven"
On Hendrix’s broken guitar
My church gets fucked up on communion wine
Asks lamp posts to be our Valentine
My church bar hops together
And my church, if you don’t
Blow yourself to smitherines
You get 17 virgins in a room to yourself
Or you go and play Starfox together
My church got beat up by the skateboard
Kids for being a rollerblade kid
But rolled to school the next day
On one skate and 2 crutches
True to the fight with a fist in the air
Screaming "fruit Buddhas unite!"
My church can feel it’s
Pulse in it’s fingertips
Has 3 stomachs because our fear
Is hard to swallow but love always has room
My church has a love bladder and always
Asks to go to the bathroom
There are drawbacks of course:
My church will not resurrect
Your dead hamster
My church will not play for keeps
Wear Versace give out baby Jesus Tomagachi’s
And Tom Cruise thinks my church sucks balls
I’m not Jesus Christ
But, I can turn water into Kool-Aid
And I’m not Jim Jones
But my church is like, totally a cult
And everyone drinks the Kool-Aid
And everyone dies!
But for some people the Kool-Aid doesn’t
Kick in until you’re 105
Surrounded by everyone who matters
Most to you yes, some of us go early
But at my church you have
To think about that possibility
‘Cause my church makes you scared
I’m talkin’ like waves of fear
Like you’re lying awake at night
And you pull the blankets up to your neck
And your covers are like a tsunami of fear
And you start hyperventilating
Thinking about how you’re getting
Older way faster
Than your dreams are getting accomplished
About how skinny your arms are
About how fat your tummy is
About how much it’s gonna suck to
Eventually lose the power to
Think about all the badass stuff
We do at our church don’t fall asleep yet
Contrary to popular belief
That’s not where dreams get accomplished
The body of Christ is your body
The body of Buddha be your body
Your body be usable your body be suitable
Your body beautiful
You don’t need anything different
Keep your broken cell phones
Don’t delete your text messages
You might read those stupid-ass
Badly spelled rants over on a Sunday morning
And have a religious experience
Anything but I’m going
To tell you about my night last night
Had a couple beers, ya know
Yeah, got a little tipsy
Got a little existential crisis-y
Last night I drunk text messaged God
I just wanted to tell him
I’d been thinkin’ about him a lot
And to tell him I’m stalking a church
I meant to write starting a church
No one spells drunk texts right, anyway
Last night I sent out a
Buttload of embarrassing texts
And then copied them to everyone I know
Like "Yo" like "Sup"
I was out sinning curled in a bed
The room is spinning it’s all in my head
I can’t get to sleep
And the weight of the world
Is the weight of my sheets
Here’s the great thing about my church:
You can keep your religion ‘cause my
Church is for those of
Us who grew up wishing we
Believed in an afterlife
And for those of us who were so close to god
We could practically lean over and
Make out with her
My church is sick of bloody crusades
To the march of drum corps
I’ll start a church that gets pissed
Off and starts thumb wars
Maybe a church that gets Mondays
Off for religion reasons
A church that throws phone parties in
Elevators to learn about praise
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
We’ll dance as it burns for 8 magical days
That was a Jewish reference
No offense to Gideon bibles but
My church goes into hotel
Rooms and fills up the drawers
With chocolate pillow mints
And my church, if you choose
To come to Sunday school
You don’t learn about hell hell no
You eat Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert shaped
Potato chips and watch Chapelle’s show
My church had 10 commandments, 5 precepts
And a workplace abuse handbook but we
Partied hard last week and
I think we left them in
A restroom at Chuckie Cheese
Now we just go by a picture of a
Heart that I found on a bar napkin
My church tongue-kissed your mom last night
Um, I’m just kidding
She left 5 red fingers across my face
We hung out with the creator
I think she loves you she’s beautiful
She’s got ‘daughter’ tattooed on
Her left bicep ‘Son’ on her right
My church is at the center of the planet
And has the most
Amazing stained-glass windows
The glass is the floor of the ocean
The colors are where you look up
And see blue and a manatee i love manatees
And the forest canopy
Tony Montana comes to my church and forgets
He left his cocaine in the car
We play "Stairway to Heaven"
On Hendrix’s broken guitar
My church gets fucked up on communion wine
Asks lamp posts to be our Valentine
My church bar hops together
And my church, if you don’t
Blow yourself to smitherines
You get 17 virgins in a room to yourself
Or you go and play Starfox together
My church got beat up by the skateboard
Kids for being a rollerblade kid
But rolled to school the next day
On one skate and 2 crutches
True to the fight with a fist in the air
Screaming "fruit Buddhas unite!"
My church can feel it’s
Pulse in it’s fingertips
Has 3 stomachs because our fear
Is hard to swallow but love always has room
My church has a love bladder and always
Asks to go to the bathroom
There are drawbacks of course:
My church will not resurrect
Your dead hamster
My church will not play for keeps
Wear Versace give out baby Jesus Tomagachi’s
And Tom Cruise thinks my church sucks balls
I’m not Jesus Christ
But, I can turn water into Kool-Aid
And I’m not Jim Jones
But my church is like, totally a cult
And everyone drinks the Kool-Aid
And everyone dies!
But for some people the Kool-Aid doesn’t
Kick in until you’re 105
Surrounded by everyone who matters
Most to you yes, some of us go early
But at my church you have
To think about that possibility
‘Cause my church makes you scared
I’m talkin’ like waves of fear
Like you’re lying awake at night
And you pull the blankets up to your neck
And your covers are like a tsunami of fear
And you start hyperventilating
Thinking about how you’re getting
Older way faster
Than your dreams are getting accomplished
About how skinny your arms are
About how fat your tummy is
About how much it’s gonna suck to
Eventually lose the power to
Think about all the badass stuff
We do at our church don’t fall asleep yet
Contrary to popular belief
That’s not where dreams get accomplished
The body of Christ is your body
The body of Buddha be your body
Your body be usable your body be suitable
Your body beautiful
You don’t need anything different
Keep your broken cell phones
Don’t delete your text messages
You might read those stupid-ass
Badly spelled rants over on a Sunday morning
And have a religious experience