WHY? - Into the Shadows of My Embrace lyrics

I conquered my own childhood silence
And now the world is
My lit confessional marquee
But it'd take a busload of
High school sucker girls
To wash those hospitals off me

Oh, am I clean? Nineteen
They said sex will keep you young and
Make you older at the same time
They said sex will have
Left you aged normally
A-And so I guess it's sorta like smoking
And walking at the same time
In that it will have left you aged normally

Oh, am I clean? Lord, please
Why me?

I wish I could feel close to
Somebody but I don't feel nothing
Now they say I need to quit
Doing all this random fff-
Now I think my upstairs
Neighbor hears me masturbating
And there's other ones peeping through
The slips in my curtains
And I never got a name
For my shady compulsion
Cause, I messed up and kissed my shrink
In a Jersey City hotel room
And I know saying all this is
Public should make me feel funny
But, you gotta yell something out
You'd never tell nobody

We found a dead fox and a dozen matchbox cars
When we cut back the
Hedges on Cortelyou Place how many got lost
Left so long they grew moss cause
They recoiled into the shadows of my embrace

We found a dead fox and a dozen matchbox cars
When we cut back the
Hedges on Cortelyou Place how many got lost
Left so long they grew moss cause
They recoiled into the shadows of my embrace

Am I clean? Lord, please
Why me?