Yasiin Bey - Soldier's Dream lyrics

I’m not gon sing a song or nothing
Um, what is that term
They call it post traumatic stress syndrome?
That thing that uh
Soldiers will get i think a
Lot of people get that
It’s like when you experience
Something and uh
It affects you for a long time afterwards
I guess everything works that way certain
Things have more impact than others
Sometimes it visit's you in your
Dreams or when you’re quiet
Or just at peace or trying to be at peace
A lot of soldiers get it a
Lot of common people get it
Most of the time common people are soldiers
That’s just the way it works out
This is a soldier’s dream

The other night
I was tumbling towards an uneasy sleep
Where I had discovered myself
Atop the sweet sticky firmament of my dreams
Daybreak came and discovered me
With my fantasies pasted to my face

I can't look at you right now
"Show me your eyes, " she says
"Later, " he says "Now, now" "NO!"

Shame is a prison you know
Yeah, well discretion is a fortress
You’re staring and looking too closely
There’s so much about me that I hide
That careful eyes will recognize
If you look closely you’ll notice
That the pattern on this
Soft broadcloth shirt is made of
Working man's blood and praying folk’s tears
If you look closer, you’ll notice that
This pattern resembles
Tenement row houses, project highrises
Cell block tiers
Discontinued stretches of elevated
Train tracks
Slave ship gullies, acres of tombstones
If you look closer, you’ll notice
That this fabric has been carefully blended
With an advanced new age polymer
(oh man, that’s nice)
To make the fabric lightweight
Weatherproof, and durable all this
To give some sort of posture and dignity
To a broken body that is a host for scars
I am the new landmark
I am the museum of injury
Soldiers visit me and admire me quietly
Whispering among themselves
You’re no soldier
Your soft bright eyes never have to
Survey the battlefield
Much less it's collected relics of which
I am one
So, my flesh bullet-ridden remains hidden
Underneath these soft fabrics
Which I carefully select
That stand in for how I used to feel
For how I remember feeling
For how I dream about feeling
For how I feel about you
And now your curious fingers want to search
Beyond this tender armor
I can't look at you right now
This is my rifle there are many like it
But this one is mine

Your eyes are too careful
Collecting it all arranging it all
Surgically, robotically, exactly
I can’t look at you right now
But that doesn’t matter because
You can look at me and the longer that
I don’t return your gaze
The harder that your gaze
Starts to run across my back
Like a nervous policeman’s hands:
Brisk, intent, anxious for discovery
If discretion is a fortress
Then you’re threatening to destroy it
By simply standing at the gates
And refusing to leave
I can’t look at you right now
But you can look at me do you see me?