360, Seth Sentry - Closer lyrics

Yo
At all times now, I hear the darkness callin'
Yeah, it's closer than it was and
I just can't ignore it
So this is paranoia where
Every finger's pointed
Where everything looks haunted, yeah
So this is madness for ya
Is crazy somethin' a man is born with?
Or just some marijuana or the acid talkin'
Or the alcoholic in me, shit, I wish I had
The answers for 'em but all I know
Is that it has it's claws in
And I just can't avoid it, now every shadow
Is a tar pit boilin' over, it's so close
I feel my back is cornered
And if I had a small wish
I wish I had of fought it
But now it's too late
'cause everything's too damn distorted
Yeah, man
I wish I knew what started all this
(yeah) I need some help but, yo
I can't afford it nah, fuck your help
I need a lighter now to spark a joint
I'm fadin' away to the same
Place that Drapht was fallin'
Seth is gone, death a storm
This the calm before it
I'm just tryna summon the courage
To bite the bullet (Do it)
The walls are talkin', I swear to God
This apartment's haunted
Could all this be paranormal?
(Nah, this is madness for you)
And so it goes without sayin'
This is my last recordin'
'Cause if you're hearin' this now it
Means I must have done it first off
I really need to tell you
Just how much I'm sorry
I know that the news of my death
Was gruesome and hard to stomach
I'm sorry too for those who end
Up in the bathroom scrubbin'
Up the mess, I guess I was clumsy
This shit was far too bloody plus the blade
It was blunt and it couldn't cut me properly
I was in such a hurry
It's close and I can't outrun it goodbye

Uh, ever since a kid I felt this way
The black sheep
I can never rid myself of hate
And some'll say that it's a mental disease
Well, I just pray that I can make
It to the end of the week
It's like I'll only find happiness
When dead or asleep
They say in time it'll get better
For me but it forever repeats
It's like I'm on the search
To find my inner peace and the fact
I know it's never there is killin' me
'Cause, I'll be honest
I'm tryna make it work
It's all I can think about but
It's likely to make it worse
And it hurts, am I positive? No
I just wanted to go
It's like I'm trapped in my mind
And I'm not lettin' go
They try to help me but I
Won't let 'em touch me
Until you've been in my shoes
Don't ever judge me
The only thing that ever seems to excite me
Is the thought of me leavin' this life
It's the demon inside me
It screams to release and it needs
To be leavin'
I make myself bleed just to see him
Don't be scared
It doesn't hurt while I bleed
I live in hell, if you go and search
You'll find me i don't think this world and
This earth's what I need
And I don't think this place is
For a person like me
Is that really such a bad thing?
And people always point fingers but
Don't really understand him
I need to chill, I wanna leave here, serious
I'm bein' real, I don't wanna be here, period
Hey, yo, fuck it, my life's hell, I hate it
Ninety-nine per cent of my
Life's dealt with anger
See, I just wanna get a shotty
Go and end it properly
Doin' everybody and myself a favour
And they say that your life's
What you make it
I didn't ask for my own life but I'll take it