A-Game - Hurt lyrics

I, hurt myself today to see if I still feel
I, hurt myself today
I hurt, hurt, hurtmyself i hurt-my-self
I hurt, hurt, hurtmyself i hurt-my-self

Lemme spit some shit to y'all
Straight from the heart yo, I'm SO hurt!
It's A-Game yeah i'm so HURT!

I'm so hurt, and I don't know what to say
Won't let a tear roll down my
Face-ain't into showin' my pain
You ask me what's the point of
Being closed inside my own space?
Well, what's the point of being open
When I KNOW I'll get played?
I'm cold and enraged
It's like my blood just flows with disdain
And ain't got no life outside my
Job-it pays the lowest of wages
And I don't think that I can take it
I'm programmed as a slave
I can't believe to everyone
This the "American Way"
This ain't a 'dream' - and if it is
Then I can't wait 'til I wake up
This world is jaded, hate the fact that I'm
Surrounded by fake fucks
From politicians on TV
To fam & friends trying to play us
It's every man for himself
But really can you blame us?
If I'm stayin' distant
It's cause it's all that I know
I'm like an egg
You got to crack my shell to get to the yolk
I try to focus on the positive
Sometimes I can't cope
That's why I vent my fucking
Problems here on this microphone, yo
I got a question, here it goes

What have I become? My sweetest friend
Everyone that I know goes away, in the end

I've become a fucking mess
That I cannot control this world is cold
This shit is weighing heavy on my soul
Everybody that I know just goes
Away in the end
Y'all fake as fuck, but trying to
Front like you my friend, hell nah

I'm having a battle with depression
On the daily I be stressing
Trying to write these messages
Can't even get past the first sentence
Questioning if I'll make it
Swear I fake these happy expressions
Is my music authentic enough to blow?
Or should I forget it?
Man I hurt myself when
I go askin' thesequESTIONS
My mind becomes a known catastrophei LET IT
Eat me up, & make me sick like bulimics
Split personality, slightly insecure
But yet I believe in
Myself, fair share of demons in my
Head but I keep 'em withheld i'm blessed
But, I've been places people
Believe to be Hell
I feel if I think positive
I'll still be known to fail
That's why like Johnny Cash and Nine
Inch Nails I hurt myself the lowest lows
And the highest highs I've seen both sides
Life is short so like Foghat I'm
Making it a Slow Ride and 'til the day I die
- I'll be writin' rhymes
It's better than any drug
It puts an ease inside my mind for real

What have I become? My sweetest friend
Everyone that I know goes away, in the end

I've become a fucking mess
That I cannot control this world is cold
This shit is weighing heavy on my soul
Everybody that I know just goes
Away in the end
Y'all fake as fuck, but trying to
Front like you my friend, hell nah

My homies left, I guess we went separate ways
We used to hangout everyday
But now I guess shit has changed
Would it kill y'all to
Here-and-there say "What's up, mane?!"
Instead of turnin' to a stranger
Now I can't even recognize your face
BIRD! Some things have changed we
Kicked it all the time
Now you locked inside a cell
And I think you'll be doin' time
Remember times
When we'd blaze a fuckin' blunt
Up & do rhymes
Now the way that you've changed up
You would think that you've died
BRANDON and your addiction stripped your
Ass of every dime
Lost your job, & you was homeless
Had nobody by your side
So I brought you into MY house
And saved your fuckin' life
Just to steal from me, and trash the
Place, then leave me out to dry, fuck!
Fake ass motherfucker

What have I become? My sweetest friend
Everyone that I know goes away, in the end

I've become a fucking mess
That I cannot control this world is cold
This shit is weighing heavy on my soul
Everybody that I know just goes
Away in the end
Y'all fake as fuck, but trying to
Front like you my friend, hell nah

This right here's an open
Letter from my heart, play it from the start
Sayin' how I really feel is hard
'less I spit them bars
Seein' me from someplace so afar
Guess my life ain't hard
Walk up in my shoes, you won't go far
Bitch I swear on god
Bullied all my life, I bottle thoughts
Store 'em in a box
Why the fuck y'all gotta be so harsh
Is my only thought fuck it
I'll be damned if someone boss
Me & feel in charge
Now my thoughts tormentin' me like Obelisk
I fall apart see, when I smile now
Y'all'd think it's authentic
I guess I'm good at hiding shit
Cause people seem like I meant it
But, if you knew the real me
You wouldn't believe where my head is
People can't see the depression
And never see when I'm stressin'
And they don't see when I'm low
This heroin keeps me high
I struggle with this dependence shit
That's got my body & mind
This love I got for this
Drug's like Bonnie & Clyde
I hear HER voice taking over
Lulling me with her sweet lies
That's why body's aching
Without you I'm fucking shaking
'Til you hit my nasal, vein
Or lungs and take my pain away
I went to leave you quite a few times
I've tried & tried but when I do
You make me feel like I'd like to DIE
So I'm back in the cycle, a downward spiral
Losin' my fucking mind
Suck the life up out of me-lipo
This song, I speak the truth
Like my hand was stuck on a bible
My eyes so fucking dried out
Guess crying is just futile
So I'm stuck with this wide-rule
Been reading the notes that I wrote
Can't decide if I like it
Or if I'm spitting that pyro
I know I won't ever quit
But I wish one day I'll go viral
And my flow like Myers
Michael a fanbase sayin' I'm tight though
Got to reshape my life, slaving, serving
And working doubles
Got a mo'fucka worn out and now
My health is in trouble
Got to get back to music
It's truly one thing I love to-
Do, plus look at my boo and just
Smile and say "I love you"
Life is just like a puzzle
I'm puzzled trying to solve it
Depression is a bitch
Someone help me up cause I'm falling
I've hurt myself a lot
And hurt others up in the process
And honestly can't decide if I'm
Too caring or too heartless
So I keep to myself
So you never gon' see me open
Can't express my emotions
But this song captured the moment
I'm seeing better days
At least that's what I'm hopin'
Pick the pieces up I've shattered
Cause deep inside they're like
Me because I'm BROKEN so you know that

I, hurt hurt hurt myself i, hurt-my-self
I, hurt hurt hurt myself i, hurt-my-self