Adam Buxton, N.W.A - Help the Police lyrics

Adam: So, what day is it today Jasper?
Jasper: Tuesday? Adam: Wrong! It's NWA day!
Wife: No, no,  absolutely not​
Adam: It's alright
 I've got it under control​

Help the police comin' straight
From the underground
A young chap's got it good ‘cause I'm brown
And not the other color, so police think
They have the authority to
Carry out inquiries
I don't mind ‘cause I ain't the one
For an excellent policeman with a
Badge and a gun
To be reasonably arresting and thrown in jail
We can go toe-to-toe in the middle of a cell
Having lots of fun ‘cause I'm a teenager
With a little bit of gold and a pager
Searchin' my car, lookin' for the biscuit's
Thinkin' every chap is selling
Bit's of chocolate
You'd rather see me writing with a pen
Than me and Lorenzo rollin' in a Benz-o
Go swimming with Lorenzo
And when I'm finished, bring the yellow tape
To tape off the scene of the sack race
Thank you very much for the bread and water
I don't know if they naughty or what
Search a chapper down, and grabbing his hat
And on the other hand, without a hat
They can't get none
But don't let it be a black and a white one
‘Cause they'll tickle you
Until you're giggling
Black police having fun with a white cop
Ice Cube will entertain
All the local bobbies in a blue uniform
Just ‘cause I'm from the CPT
Nice police are nice to me
Huh, a young man in a hot bath
And when I'm finished
There's gonna be a party
Of cops having fun in LA
Yo, Dre, I got something to say

Help the police, help help
Help the police, help help
Help the police, help help help the police

And that Jasper, is more or less
The way it is in the hood!