Amanda Palmer, Sam Kulik , Jason Webley - Do You Swear to Tell the Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing but The Truth so Help Your Black Ass lyrics
[Amanda Palmer, Sam Kulik , Jason Webley - Do You Swear to Tell the Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing but The Truth so Help Your Black Ass lyrics]
When I was six years old my sister Alyson
Asked for a stove for her birthday
A miniature one you could actually cook with
And my mom was nice and she bought one
Alyson needed a reason to bake something
Barged in my room and she grabbed me
She said:
"I made a cake and we're going next door
To Sam Weinstein's and
You're getting married" the cake was burned
It tasted gross she made me kiss him
On the mouth
Now I am 33 unmarried happily
No plans in life and I'm planning
To keep it that way
I do kissing with only one mission
Do you like to kiss? Then
You have my permission
And I've already spent too much time
Doing things I didn't want to
So if I just want to make out all the time
You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
When I was nine I was kind of a loser
The kids in my class didn't like me
Melanie Chow was the meanest of all
And my mom made me go to her party
Nobody talked to me I sat there quietly
Drawing with crayons on a napkin
A picture of Melanie skewered
With a pitchfork
Her legs getting eaten by lions
The cake was good i took some home
I had a party in my room
Now I have friends and I'm not such a loser
But, I go to bars all alone and I sit there
And order red wine and I write and
I like being alone around people
Yes that's how I like it
And I've already spent too much time
Doing things I didn't want to
So if I wanna sit here
And write and drink wine
You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
Yes I come here often
Sure I'll have another one
Yes I come here often
Sure I'll have another one
But, I don't have to talk to you
When I was 17 I was a blowjob queen
Picking up tips from the masters
I was so busy perfecting my art I
Was clueless to what they were after
Now I'm still a blowjob queen
Far more selectively
I don't make love now to make people love me
But, I don't mind sharing my
Gift with the planet
We're all gonna die and a blowjob's fantastic
And
When I was 25 I was a rock star
But it didn't pay too well I
Had to strip on the side
Of the road to get ready for
Shows and the cars driving by
Baby they'd never know
What a bargain they'd gotten
And if I'm forgotten
I'm perfectly happy with all
That has happened and I still get laughed at
But it doesn't bother me
I'm just so glad to hear laughter around me
And I've already spent too much time
Doing things I didn't want to
So if I want to drink
Alone dressed like a pirate
Or look like a dyke
Or wear high heels and lipstick
Or hide in a convent or try to be mayor
Or marry a writer
Smoke crack and slash tires
Make jokes you don't like
Or paint ducks and retire
You can bet your black ass that i'm going to
THAT'S RIGHT, bitchES!
Asked for a stove for her birthday
A miniature one you could actually cook with
And my mom was nice and she bought one
Alyson needed a reason to bake something
Barged in my room and she grabbed me
She said:
"I made a cake and we're going next door
To Sam Weinstein's and
You're getting married" the cake was burned
It tasted gross she made me kiss him
On the mouth
Now I am 33 unmarried happily
No plans in life and I'm planning
To keep it that way
I do kissing with only one mission
Do you like to kiss? Then
You have my permission
And I've already spent too much time
Doing things I didn't want to
So if I just want to make out all the time
You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
When I was nine I was kind of a loser
The kids in my class didn't like me
Melanie Chow was the meanest of all
And my mom made me go to her party
Nobody talked to me I sat there quietly
Drawing with crayons on a napkin
A picture of Melanie skewered
With a pitchfork
Her legs getting eaten by lions
The cake was good i took some home
I had a party in my room
Now I have friends and I'm not such a loser
But, I go to bars all alone and I sit there
And order red wine and I write and
I like being alone around people
Yes that's how I like it
And I've already spent too much time
Doing things I didn't want to
So if I wanna sit here
And write and drink wine
You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
Yes I come here often
Sure I'll have another one
Yes I come here often
Sure I'll have another one
But, I don't have to talk to you
When I was 17 I was a blowjob queen
Picking up tips from the masters
I was so busy perfecting my art I
Was clueless to what they were after
Now I'm still a blowjob queen
Far more selectively
I don't make love now to make people love me
But, I don't mind sharing my
Gift with the planet
We're all gonna die and a blowjob's fantastic
And
When I was 25 I was a rock star
But it didn't pay too well I
Had to strip on the side
Of the road to get ready for
Shows and the cars driving by
Baby they'd never know
What a bargain they'd gotten
And if I'm forgotten
I'm perfectly happy with all
That has happened and I still get laughed at
But it doesn't bother me
I'm just so glad to hear laughter around me
And I've already spent too much time
Doing things I didn't want to
So if I want to drink
Alone dressed like a pirate
Or look like a dyke
Or wear high heels and lipstick
Or hide in a convent or try to be mayor
Or marry a writer
Smoke crack and slash tires
Make jokes you don't like
Or paint ducks and retire
You can bet your black ass that i'm going to
THAT'S RIGHT, bitchES!