Amanda Palmer - Ukulele Anthem lyrics

Sid Vicious played a four-string fender
Bass guitar and couldn't sing
And everybody hated him except the
Ones who loved him
A ukulele has four strings
But Sid did not play ukulele
He did smack and probably killed
His girlfriend Nancy Spungen

If only Sid had had a ukulele
Maybe he would have been happy
Maybe he would not have suffered
Such a sad end he maybe would have not done
All that heroin instead
He maybe would've sat around just singing
Nice songs to his girlfriend

So play your favorite cover song
Especially if the words are wrong
'cause even if your grades are bad
It doesn't mean you're failing
Do your homework with a fork
And eat your fruit loops in the dark
And bring your etch-a-sketch to work
And play your ukulele
Ukulele small and fierceful
Brave and peaceful
You can play the ukulele too
It is painfully simple
Play your ukulele badly
Play your ukulele loudly ukulele banish evil
Ukulele save the people
Ukulele gleaming golden from the
Top of every steeple

Lizzie Borden took an axe
And gave her mother forty whacks
Then gave her father forty-one
And left a tragic puzzle
If only they had given her an instrument
Those Puritans had lost the plot completely
See what happens when you muzzle
A person's creativity
And do not let them sing and scream
And nowadays it's worse 'cause
Kids have automatic handguns
It takes about an hour to teach
Someone to play the ukulele
About same to teach someone to
Build a standard pipe bomb yOU DO THE MATH

So play your favorite cover song
Especially if the words are wrong
'cause even if your grades are bad
It doesn't mean you're failing
Do your homework with a fork
And eat your fruit loops in the dark
And bring your flask of jack to work
And play your ukulele
Ukulele, thing of wonder
Ukulele, wand of thunder
You can play the ukulele, too
In London and down under
Play Joan Jett, and play Jacques Brel
And Eminem and Neutral Milk Ho-
Tell the children crush the hatred
Play your ukulele naked
And if anybody tries to steal your ukulele
Let them take it

Imagine there's no music
Imagine there are no songs
Imagine that John Lennon wasn't shot
In front of his apartment
Now imagine if John Lennon had
Composed "imagine" on the ukulele
Maybe folks would have more
Clearly got the message

You may think my approach
Is simple-minded and naïve
Like if you want to change the world then
Why not quit and feed the hungry
But people for millennia have
Needed music to survive
And that's why I've promised John that
I will not feel guilty

So play your favorite Beatles' song
And make the subway fall in love
They're only $1995, that's not a lot of money
Play until the sun comes up
And play until your fingers suffer
Play LCD Soundsystem songs on your ukulele
Quit the bitching on your blog
And stop pretending art is hard
Just limit yourself to three chords
And do not practice daily
You'll minimize some stranger's sadness
With a piece of wood and plastic
Holy fuck it's so fantastic, playing ukulele

Eat your homework with a fork
And do your fruit loops in the dark
Bring your etch-a-sketch to work

Your flask of jack your vibrator
Your fear of heights your Nikon lens
Your mom and dad your disco stick
Your soundtrack to "Karate Kid"
Your Ginsu knives your rosary
Your new Rebecca Black CD your favorite room
Your Bowie knife your stuffed giraffe
Your new glass eye your sousaphone
Your breakfast tea your Nick Drake tapes
Your Giving Tree your ice cream truck
Your missing wife your will to live
Your urge to cry
Remember we're all gonna die
So PLAY YOUR UKULELE