Ameer Vann - Emmanuel lyrics

It's so hard to say, "I'm sorry
" it's so hard to self reflect
Make the world a better place
I'll put a bullet in my head
I'm still runnin' outta friends
Steady runnin' from the past
Ain't no lil' piece of heaven
All these demons that I have
I am broken, I am tired
I am lonely and depressed
I am made up of mistakes
I'll start goin' down the list
I'm a product of my father
I'm a addict like my sister
I'm so sick, I need a doctor
Spent some time in institutions back
At home with my mama
Had to run away to Houston
Had a girl, she was a goddess
I fucked up and had to lose her
I see darkness all around me
Put my soul into the music
I am always fuckin' doubting
My every single movement
I saw violence in my home
I seen shit I can't forget
I got anxieties and tendencies
And memories repressed
Rip this shit up off my chest
Put these bullets in a clip
Press the muzzle to my face
And pull the trigger, now I'm
It's so hard to end it all
I wanna try to make it right
It's so hard to live at all
All these obstacles in life
Make it hard for us all
Made a fuck-up of my life
I'd give anything at all to
Take back a little time

I'm a beast, I'm a dog, I'm a runaway slave
I'm like Malcolm
I'm like Martin bein' locked in a cage
Tell Jesus, "Come and save me
I got goals and a pager"
Misdemeanors on the papers
El Dorados on the Daytons
See me float above the pavement
I'm a fuckin' mental patient
That's my fuckin' mission statement
I've been sittin', waitin' patient
I can hear what niggas
Sayin', send me curses, see me prayin'
I could sell a blunt to Satan
All these trenches that I lay in
All this chaos that I stay in
See my fate and know it's waitin'
This a new beginning, call me Jesus
King of niggas
My sermon is delivered, rollin' swishers
Writin' scriptures
Many pains and many issues
This my written crucifixion
I'ma sing a song of David
I remember Wayne and Baby
I done seen them niggas leakin'
Screamin', "Jesus, come and save me"
I don't know if I'ma make it
I just know that life ain't easy
Gettin' harder while I'm breathin'
Niggas die inside of Beamers
They don't even need a reason
Guns clappin', get to squeezin'
Niggas killin', it ain't easy
Rent due and it ain't easy
Call his name, but he ain't breathin'
Mama cryin', it ain't easy
Hard times, it ain't easy it ain't easy