Andrew Lippa, Bebe Neuwirth, Nathan Lane - Where Did We Go Wrong? lyrics

She's perky

She's bubbly

She's optimistic

Where did we go wrong?

We taught her to hunt

We taught her to aim

We gave her a bow

We gave her no shame

We gave what we had

Made sure she was bad

Did all that we could to keep her sad

We told her to stay away from modern jazz

We gave her that week long trip to Alcatraz

We promised she'd be equipped

And filled her crypt with woe
What'd we know?

We took her to funerals in the morning mist

We took her to slaughter houses

Schindler's list

We taught her to scowl and sneer and domineer

On cue

So, what did we do? Where did we go wrong?

Are we good parents?

Where did we go wrong?

Are we cliché?

Somewhere in between guilt and guillotine
We forgot to notice that our
Daughter lost her way where did we go wrong?

And can we fix this?

Maybe it's a passing phase

But, if she's going wrong
Then what will change her ways?

That's it! We cancel the dinner
Bolt the doors!

We'll circle the wagons

And give these "goody-licious"
Beinekes the boot!

We must intervene

We shouldn't delay

She's barely eighteen

So what do we say?

We know the occult

That's certainly true

We're to consult

Morticia, with you

So why all the fuss?

My darling, discuss

She needs only us

It's us, only us

We've always been there for her
To swear for her

Discourage dental care for her

Do well for her excel for her
Make home a living hell for her
So, "Where did we go wrong?"
Is not the question resolute and strong
Is our next move

We'll tell her today

Do what we say

Send all the Beinekes back to the fray
Turn them away at first sight
And that's where we'll go right

No dinner tonight!