Baba Brinkman - Dr. Tatiana lyrics
[Baba Brinkman - Dr. Tatiana lyrics]
It’s all about sex evolution
It’s all about sex
Some people say my
Obsession with biodiversity
Is a sign of perversity
But, I find that it nurtures me
Maybe it’s twisted
But, I won’t give a lady a minute
Unless she’s a Batesian mimic
Does that make me a cynic?
I’m into animal role-play
But fuck a barnyard
I want some praying mantis
Open mandible cannibal foreplay
So read Dr tatiana if you need the basics
She’s deeper than the fuzzies you
Find creepin’ on craigslist
Plus she’s got a message board
Full of insectivores
Who are just itchin’ for it
She’s like a sex thesaurus
I met a crab spider who was
Keen on finding a mate
Her turn-ons included binding and
Trying to escape
I met a gold-digger who told
Me fame was her weakness
So I paid her like a cockroach
With anal secretions
Yeah, I’m nasty as I wanna be
Jerkin’ off in front of females
Like juvenile marine iguanas on the beach
‘Cause, I’m packin’ a eight-inch corkscrew
I’m a great fuck i wanna spin it in like
An Argentinian lake duck
Yeah, when natural selection reckons
Your sex practice the best action is always
Found in the mismatches
Let’s make love like animals
I think you know what I’m talkin’ about
Let’s make love exactly like other animals
Get your zoology textbook out
This one girl was quite freakish
I wasn’t squeamish
But we simply couldn’t fit it in
- we tried to squeeze it
But she had a six-inch long
Clitoris like a hyena’s
And I had a spiky inflatable damselfly penis
Ah, skip the spider’s kiss of death
Just give me ten consecutive weeks
Of sex like stick insects
I make solid sperm plugs to
Try to block girls
But, I hate when they pull it out
And eat it like fox squirrels
Those are precious resources
I’m really concerned
Humans only bust a couple
Of hundred million sperm
So we start to get depleted
After the third shag
Octopus have ten billion in
A massive sperm bag
And they die when they deposit it
That’s just one way
Nature might try to persuade a
Guy to stay monogamous
But we must have missed something
Compared to our chimp cousins
‘Cause those chicks’ll hit a dozen different
Studs and just love it
So I feel like I’m overdressed for bonobo sex
All I need is a swollen
Vulva and a vocal "Yes!"
No? Okay, instead I’ll marry my soul mate
‘Til death do us part, the prairie vole way
Let’s make love like animals
It’s been happening since the stone age
Let’s make love exactly like other animals
Open up that wikipedia page
Let’s make love like angler fish
It’s kind of complicated but it’s worth it
You use your highly developed olfactory sense
To swim towards me for several days
And then you bite me
And that releases an enzyme
That dissolves your face and your
Bones and your fins
Leaving only a pair of genitals attached
To the side of my body
For me to use when it’s convenient
It’s all about sex
Some people say my
Obsession with biodiversity
Is a sign of perversity
But, I find that it nurtures me
Maybe it’s twisted
But, I won’t give a lady a minute
Unless she’s a Batesian mimic
Does that make me a cynic?
I’m into animal role-play
But fuck a barnyard
I want some praying mantis
Open mandible cannibal foreplay
So read Dr tatiana if you need the basics
She’s deeper than the fuzzies you
Find creepin’ on craigslist
Plus she’s got a message board
Full of insectivores
Who are just itchin’ for it
She’s like a sex thesaurus
I met a crab spider who was
Keen on finding a mate
Her turn-ons included binding and
Trying to escape
I met a gold-digger who told
Me fame was her weakness
So I paid her like a cockroach
With anal secretions
Yeah, I’m nasty as I wanna be
Jerkin’ off in front of females
Like juvenile marine iguanas on the beach
‘Cause, I’m packin’ a eight-inch corkscrew
I’m a great fuck i wanna spin it in like
An Argentinian lake duck
Yeah, when natural selection reckons
Your sex practice the best action is always
Found in the mismatches
Let’s make love like animals
I think you know what I’m talkin’ about
Let’s make love exactly like other animals
Get your zoology textbook out
This one girl was quite freakish
I wasn’t squeamish
But we simply couldn’t fit it in
- we tried to squeeze it
But she had a six-inch long
Clitoris like a hyena’s
And I had a spiky inflatable damselfly penis
Ah, skip the spider’s kiss of death
Just give me ten consecutive weeks
Of sex like stick insects
I make solid sperm plugs to
Try to block girls
But, I hate when they pull it out
And eat it like fox squirrels
Those are precious resources
I’m really concerned
Humans only bust a couple
Of hundred million sperm
So we start to get depleted
After the third shag
Octopus have ten billion in
A massive sperm bag
And they die when they deposit it
That’s just one way
Nature might try to persuade a
Guy to stay monogamous
But we must have missed something
Compared to our chimp cousins
‘Cause those chicks’ll hit a dozen different
Studs and just love it
So I feel like I’m overdressed for bonobo sex
All I need is a swollen
Vulva and a vocal "Yes!"
No? Okay, instead I’ll marry my soul mate
‘Til death do us part, the prairie vole way
Let’s make love like animals
It’s been happening since the stone age
Let’s make love exactly like other animals
Open up that wikipedia page
Let’s make love like angler fish
It’s kind of complicated but it’s worth it
You use your highly developed olfactory sense
To swim towards me for several days
And then you bite me
And that releases an enzyme
That dissolves your face and your
Bones and your fins
Leaving only a pair of genitals attached
To the side of my body
For me to use when it’s convenient