Baba Brinkman - The Evolution of Gayness lyrics
[Baba Brinkman - The Evolution of Gayness lyrics]
No homo boom bye bye in the batty boy head
No homo and I’m all about my money
The shots fly, now the batty guy lie dead
They say "No homo!" I say "No, homophobe
Get it straight – it’s in the chromosomes"
They say "But my religion says it’s a sin"
I say "Sell your daughter into slavery then"
They say "It’s unnatural, it makes me uneasy"
I say "Actually it’s found
In four hundred species
"But same-sex mating is an aberration"
Okay then, it’s the evolution of gayness
Natural selection offers explanations for
Every behaviour and complex form
That’s something I often say when
I’m on a stage and people always say "okay
But what about the gays?"
Yup, there’s no exceptions, only limitations
To how much information we’ve accumulated
So far at least on each specific question
The origins of "gayness" is one
Of the best ones twin studies suggests that
It’s partially genetic
But, if that’s a definite
Then how would you spread it?
Ooh, that’s why I love science
‘cause it loves a mystery
How can you spread a gene
That limit's your fertility?
Many different threads of
Evidence are coalescent but so far it’s just
Suggestive with no consensus
Still, it kinda illustrates
The scientific method
So I’ll break down the top
Four hypotheses in question
They say "No homo!" I say "No, homophobe
Get it straight – it’s in the chromosomes"
They say "But my religion says it’s a sin"
I say "Sell your daughter into slavery then"
They say "It’s unnatural, it makes me uneasy"
I say "Actually it’s found
In four hundred species
"But same-sex mating is an aberration"
Okay then, it’s the evolution of gayness
Hypothesis one: gays are
A non-reproductive caste
Like we find in termites and naked mole rats
To me though, that doesn’t seem convincing
‘Cause gay people don’t obsessively
Feed their breeding siblings
Hypothesis two: it’s a social lubricant
That’s used to smooth tension
Instead of fighting we smooch with them
You’ll find guy-on-guy and
Girl-on-girl action
In bonobos and Asian stump tailed macaques
And it’s a proven tactic
But they’re just bi-sexual
That’s the third hypothesis: that
"homo" is side-effectual
Like with albatrosses, the females mate
With each other when there’s not enough
Males to pull their weight
But it’s not like "they just can’t
Find a man and get impatient"
They’re fully same-sex mated –
Males are for insemination
And maybe lesbians who wanted
Babies made the same
Exception in the days before
IVF and turkey basters and on the flip side
We’ve got the "sneaky males"
In many species some males mimic females
So they can mate without having
To compete with the alphas
Who guard females jealously and treat
Them like they’re helpless
I mean, ‘come on, I know guys who act gay
Until the girls let their guard down
And then they’re like "heeyyy!"
Which may explain why some
Of the biggest homophobes
Are alpha gorilla types on
A testosterone overdose, who say
No homo boom bye bye in the batty boy head
No homo and I’m all about my money
The shots fly, now the batty guy lie dead
Hypothesis four tackles pure homosexual bliss
And it mostly consists of genetic tricks
‘Cause some genes are paired up
As recessives and dominants
And dominants, by definition
Get expressed with prominence
But sometimes you’re better off
With both different types
‘Cause it might, for instance
Protect you from parasites
So gayness could spread
By heterozygote advantage
If it’s connected to some
Other benefit that’s adaptive
And a similar path would be
For it to get expressed
As a massive benefit
But for the opposite sex
If a gene gave males a homosexual proclivity
But it gave females a
Massive increase in fertility
Then it could spread with ease
And if you raise objections
And say "genetic explanations
Are so oppressive" would it really be so bad
If gays were like albinos?
Maybe you see a justification for hate there
But I don’t
The real haters are those who say
"it's just a simple choice"
And preach "rehabilitation
" with their luggage carried by rent boys
If it doesn’t cause harm then
It shouldn’t face hatred
So why don’t we just make it 100% okay then?
They say "No homo!" I say "No, homophobe
Get it straight – it’s in the chromosomes"
They say "But my religion says it’s a sin"
I say "Sell your daughter into slavery then"
They say "It’s unnatural, it makes me uneasy"
I say "Actually it’s found
In four hundred species
"But same-sex mating is an aberration"
Okay then, it’s the evolution of gayness
No homo and I’m all about my money
The shots fly, now the batty guy lie dead
They say "No homo!" I say "No, homophobe
Get it straight – it’s in the chromosomes"
They say "But my religion says it’s a sin"
I say "Sell your daughter into slavery then"
They say "It’s unnatural, it makes me uneasy"
I say "Actually it’s found
In four hundred species
"But same-sex mating is an aberration"
Okay then, it’s the evolution of gayness
Natural selection offers explanations for
Every behaviour and complex form
That’s something I often say when
I’m on a stage and people always say "okay
But what about the gays?"
Yup, there’s no exceptions, only limitations
To how much information we’ve accumulated
So far at least on each specific question
The origins of "gayness" is one
Of the best ones twin studies suggests that
It’s partially genetic
But, if that’s a definite
Then how would you spread it?
Ooh, that’s why I love science
‘cause it loves a mystery
How can you spread a gene
That limit's your fertility?
Many different threads of
Evidence are coalescent but so far it’s just
Suggestive with no consensus
Still, it kinda illustrates
The scientific method
So I’ll break down the top
Four hypotheses in question
They say "No homo!" I say "No, homophobe
Get it straight – it’s in the chromosomes"
They say "But my religion says it’s a sin"
I say "Sell your daughter into slavery then"
They say "It’s unnatural, it makes me uneasy"
I say "Actually it’s found
In four hundred species
"But same-sex mating is an aberration"
Okay then, it’s the evolution of gayness
Hypothesis one: gays are
A non-reproductive caste
Like we find in termites and naked mole rats
To me though, that doesn’t seem convincing
‘Cause gay people don’t obsessively
Feed their breeding siblings
Hypothesis two: it’s a social lubricant
That’s used to smooth tension
Instead of fighting we smooch with them
You’ll find guy-on-guy and
Girl-on-girl action
In bonobos and Asian stump tailed macaques
And it’s a proven tactic
But they’re just bi-sexual
That’s the third hypothesis: that
"homo" is side-effectual
Like with albatrosses, the females mate
With each other when there’s not enough
Males to pull their weight
But it’s not like "they just can’t
Find a man and get impatient"
They’re fully same-sex mated –
Males are for insemination
And maybe lesbians who wanted
Babies made the same
Exception in the days before
IVF and turkey basters and on the flip side
We’ve got the "sneaky males"
In many species some males mimic females
So they can mate without having
To compete with the alphas
Who guard females jealously and treat
Them like they’re helpless
I mean, ‘come on, I know guys who act gay
Until the girls let their guard down
And then they’re like "heeyyy!"
Which may explain why some
Of the biggest homophobes
Are alpha gorilla types on
A testosterone overdose, who say
No homo boom bye bye in the batty boy head
No homo and I’m all about my money
The shots fly, now the batty guy lie dead
Hypothesis four tackles pure homosexual bliss
And it mostly consists of genetic tricks
‘Cause some genes are paired up
As recessives and dominants
And dominants, by definition
Get expressed with prominence
But sometimes you’re better off
With both different types
‘Cause it might, for instance
Protect you from parasites
So gayness could spread
By heterozygote advantage
If it’s connected to some
Other benefit that’s adaptive
And a similar path would be
For it to get expressed
As a massive benefit
But for the opposite sex
If a gene gave males a homosexual proclivity
But it gave females a
Massive increase in fertility
Then it could spread with ease
And if you raise objections
And say "genetic explanations
Are so oppressive" would it really be so bad
If gays were like albinos?
Maybe you see a justification for hate there
But I don’t
The real haters are those who say
"it's just a simple choice"
And preach "rehabilitation
" with their luggage carried by rent boys
If it doesn’t cause harm then
It shouldn’t face hatred
So why don’t we just make it 100% okay then?
They say "No homo!" I say "No, homophobe
Get it straight – it’s in the chromosomes"
They say "But my religion says it’s a sin"
I say "Sell your daughter into slavery then"
They say "It’s unnatural, it makes me uneasy"
I say "Actually it’s found
In four hundred species
"But same-sex mating is an aberration"
Okay then, it’s the evolution of gayness