Bad Religion - Universal Cynic lyrics

Catch a shooting star and put
It in your pocket
And your pants will start on fire
One bird in the hand
Or two birds in the bush
Neither do you any good
When you're stuck in the quagmire

Show everyone you're not sure that
They're telling the truth
Then you can be known as
The universal cynic too

Benefit your fellow man with good
Deeds for the day
And you'll serve your life away
Pennies saved today are
Pennies still tomorrow strewn upon the desk
Piled up in the paper weight

Show everyone you're not sure that
They're telling the truth
Then you can be known as
The universal cynic too

Wipe your opaque eyes and
Restore your crystal vision
Turn another cheek and exalt in your decision
A bit of exercise for the
Universal cynic in you
Early to bed and early to rise
Precludes you from seeing the
Most brilliant starry nights
Sticks and stones can break bones
Words can't really hurt
Unless you carry guns
And are hungry for a fight

Challenging the standards
Or questioning the established rules
Trying to understand how they can benefit you
Showing everyone you're not sure that
They're telling the truth
Just a bit of exercise for
The universal cynic in you
The universal cynic is you