Barbra Streisand, Jack Kruschen - I'm Not a Well Man lyrics

He's not a well man and he's getting worse
If he had any sense
He'd be in bed with a graduate nurse
A couple big specialists
High priced consultation
And outside waiting in the hall
Assorted logic small poor relations

His aches have got aches
His pains are in pain
And what sizzles and frizzles
Inside there all the smartest
Professors could not explain
They wouldn't know what be quick as you can

I might haven't got
You're dealing with not cough
With not a well man

I'm not a well man get worse every year
All the medical doctors give one look
They're amazed I'm still here
I should own a pharmacy
For just my prescriptions
My bills for only pills alone
Would chill you to the bone with conniptions

What I have been through no man could recite
It would make a heartbreaking
Play or story that only

A tragical plot how can I plan?

I might haven't got
You're dealing with not cough
With not a well man

I'm not a well man!