Ben Folds - Uncle Walter lyrics

Come on your uncle Walter's goin' on and on
'Bout everything he's seen and done
The voice of fifty years experience
He's drunk watchin' the television
You know he's been around the world
Last night
He flew to Baghdad in his magical armchair
With cigarettes and a six pack, yeah
He just got back
The spit's flyin' everywhere, hey hey hey hey
Your uncle Walter's goin' on and on
(Oh, you're back so late)
Where did you go that you were gone so long?
So, how could you leave me here
So long with uncle Walter?
Your uncle Walter saw who fired the shots
He drove his chair in the cavalcade
He's flown from South Africa
To countries where
They beat themselves on the backs with chains
There was a fleet of battleships
And one reclinin' chair
Headed north on the Arabian sea
Now he's back
To tell us what he and his oldest boy Blair
They're gettin' rich with a
Mail order scheme, oh, oh
Your uncle Walter saw who fired the shots
(We're so glad you're home)
Where did you go that you were gone so long?
How could you leave me here
So long with uncle Walter?
Your uncle Walter told me
Everythin' he'd do if he was president
Now, what a perfect world this world would be
If he was president now but he's not
And he sees the children smokin' pot
He knows that in a moment they'll be
Shootin' up heroin, teardrops in his armchair
A fifty minute lecture
Tobacco juice rollin' down his chin
Your uncle Walter's goin' on and on
(Oh, you're back so late)
Where did you go that you were gone so long?
So how could you leave me here
So long with uncle Walter? Come on