Blue October - I Laugh at Myself lyrics

This is the part where I laugh at myself
And the world for thinking
That things could actually change
Just like the old me you knew once before who
Almost destroyed and lost everything to
This same damn thing

I'm once again in my head
I'm way over my head
And I can't seem to find a
Place to put all this pain
My hope is a fraud and I can't talk to God
I believed in the good of the
World and now I'm just ashamed

I want to drink 'cause I'm mad
And I'm angry but I swore
I promised my wife that
I wouldn't drink again
There were so many chances I
Had that I wasted
As time went on by that were
Never to be seen again
And I never felt bad or guilty
About moving on with my life
But, I could never move on
From you in the end
So I fight for love, come on break my heart