BROCKHAMPTON - MILK lyrics

I ain't the same nigga that I once was
I lost my fucking mind and
Then I fell in love i did a bunch of drugs
Because I couldn't sleep
I lost a couple months
I chipped my fucking teeth
And there's a couple women and
They know some things
About lies that I done told and
Shit that I done said
And niggas that I robbed
So I'm real paranoid
I have voices in my head

Hi, my name is Merlyn
I just applied for food stamps
I just moved to California, with my boy band
Dropped out of a good school
Hippies in my commune
I left 'fore the rent was due
Used to want a briefcase and a short commute


Used to wanna sell coke and
Whip an Audi coupe crazy, if I did that
Wouldn't be talking to you
Walking through the pitfalls of
A college student
Crazy how you get them letters and
That make you feel accepted
'Til you walking 'round the campus
And you the only African
Nobody with passion
Just cats that take direction well
Take acid trips to find themselves, well

I gotta get better at being me
(At being who I am)
I gotta get better at everything
(At being who I am)
I just want a friend that I can hang out with
(Being who I am) someone I can sit around
Lay on my couch with (Being who I am)

Ever since I moved out, I've been broke
Ever since I grew up, I've been ugly
Ooh, I need get me some dollar, dollar
Dollar bills y'all
Ever since I left my momma house
I've been mad as hell at the world
Sometimes you don't gotta rhyme
When you feel it
Sometimes I barely ever feel a fucking thing
Sometimes I wish that my fucking
Phone would fucking ring
And go off, and wake a nigga up
I'm used to being sad and
I'm used to being down
I'm used to being used
I miss my boy being around

I gotta get better at being me
(At being who I am)
I gotta get better at everything
(At being who I am)
I just want a friend that I can hang out with
(Being who I am) someone I can sit around
Lay on my couch with (Being who I am)

Dropping all I got on this one day
I just wanna be somebody someday
Dropping all I got on this one way
I just wanna be somebody someday
Dropping all I got on this one day
I just wanna be somebody someday
Dropping all I got on this one way
I just wanna be somebody someday

I gotta get better at being me
(At being who I am)
I gotta get better at everything
(At being who I am)
I just want a friend that I can hang out with
(Being who I am) someone I can sit around
Lay on my couch with (Being who I am)

I'm trying to look for
Motivation of smaller things
But baby steps to my atonement
When I foster dreams
I've been told I'm too transparent
With my thoughts sometimes
So I wrote songs until they pass
And I can fall in line
I fell apart the moment that
You thought you found yourself
'Cause I knew at that point
I couldn't be in the equation anymore
But moving on with open, broken hearts
Will show you everything you need to see
About yourself to start moving forward
So many things I wanna say that I'm
Not sure need to be known
But everybody swears they fucking know me
So why, don't I lay every card I'm
Holding on the table?
At that point I wonder what they'd show me
I almost lost my father
Still surreal for me to think about
Considering how many of my
Friends have lost theirs
I never know if what I'm
Saying is the right thing if not
I'm ready more than ever for the crosshairs
It's all fair when it's not you
Some people have angels
What if only shadows follow you?
And all the ghosts inside that
Seem to hollow you
The branches of the weeping willow
Start to swallow you
And then you realize you're exactly
Where you're supposed to be
The horizon clears, you wipe the tears
And all the skeletons are
Ready for your story