Carly Cosgrove - See You in Chemistry lyrics

I'm giving my younger self credit
Before I fold and forget it
When I was blind to spite
And I did what I thought was right
And I didn't care who said it

I'm giving my younger self credit
If you needed a hand, you'd get it
I went out to the furthest bough
But I lost that resolve somehow
And each day since, I regret it
And each day since, I regret it

Because I grew up
And discovered my crutch
Either it wasn't the right way to love
Or it wasn't enough

I know the way
You showed me the bar
I'm not sure I met it
And now I'm humbled, but tepid
So I'm giving my younger self credit

And I no longer know
My true intentions
Or if I just philosophized
'til the armchair dented
The longer it takes to think
The deeper my spirit will sink
Until it's lost in the cushions

Do I run to reward?
Or away from a menace?
Like the hounds of hell
Are biting at my heels
And barking
"You're a long way from heaven"

I am no lost cause
No John Doe, no Seven
And if God's waiting for me to crack
I wanna know where I'm stepping

I needed your help
But I must recover my sense of self
I am gonna find my footing
I don't wanna care
Which way God's looking

I am gonna find my footing again