Chain Swangaz, Andy Milonakis - The Birds and the Bees lyrics

Oh my God, that's him, that's him
That's Dirt Nasty oh my Gosh, go ask him
No you ask him, no you! But, I'm scared
Okay, hey Dirt Nasty
I I asked my mom, where babies come from, and
She says a stork bring them down from heaven
Is that true?

Well let me break it down for you kid
Ain't no stork done dropped off shit (what?)
Ain't no Santa, no Easter Bunny
No tooth fairy and bitches want money
See your mom gave dad some head
He shoulda pulled out and nutted on the bed
Instead, nine months later
You plopped out your moms
Fat ass during labor (hehe)
But mommy was a player
You might be your dads but
You prolly your neighbor's
Came out all sloppy and shit
Crying like a bitch, suckin' her tit's
See that's what God intended
But Lord have mercy the twat's infected
(what's a twat?)
As the doc cut the umbilical he saw
Your cock and said fuck you're pitiful
Now here you are seven years later and
Your dick ain't grown a fucking centimeter
(that's true)
How can I teach you profilactic
Just stick the plan with your
Tiny little fat dick

Let me teach you the birds and the bees
It's kindda easy like A B C
If you feel like it burns when you pee
Put a rubber on your dick for the STD
(that's right)
Let me teach you the birds and the bees
(stupid)
Public service from Dirt Nasty (dumb shit)
See that little red dot on your meat? Put a
Rubber on your dick then act like me
Doggy style, that's the shit, girl on top
Squeeze her tit, missionary, nah thats lame
Choke a bitch, what's my name?
(Dirt Nasty)

Hey my brother showed me
A weird slimy balloon
That he says protects him from diseases
What's a diseases?

Alright here we go (ladies and gentlemen)
Alright kid, hold this beer
Let me make this crystal-fucking-clear
I don't know if they make baby trojans
But if they do pull it down to the scrotum
Ever seen dad, scratch real
Bad, it ain't poison-oak
They call it the crabs
Ever seen sis, hiss when she
Piss, clenching the fist, that's syphilis
And when mommy make doc appointments
It ain't the flu
She need vajayjay-ointments
And don't go sharing slurpies
'cuz little Karen is carrying herpes
Dick hurt? Burn when you pee? Then put
A Jimmy on your little wee-wee
Better wrap that rascal
Especially if you put it in a chick asshole
Don't trust no ho, and if the pinky's stinky
Run for the backdoor
When the cooch is loose, that
Means she's a slut, you silly goose
Pussy tight? Hit it like a champ, oh yeah
Watch out for the tramp-stamp
The bitches disease
So beware the wrath of the wizard sleeve

Now I hope you kids
Learned a valuable lesson
Now excuse I gotta go to the clinic

Oh, I get it now
Babies come out of girls pussy holes
(yes) , and your should
Always use condoms (mmh, maybe)
Vaginas are stinking dirty
Filthy germicidal fuckholes
Filled with poss and ooze
(you've been listening)
Thanks Dirty Nasty, I really
Learned something today
Now that I know about the birds and the
Bees I'm gonna go get my dick sucked

Alright you kids get some head