Connie Converse - The Witch and The Wizard lyrics

A witch there was, and a wizard as well
Moved into a rose-covered cottage in hell
A rose-covered cottage in hell

The wizard in spite of his wizardly eyes
Didn't know he had married
A witch in disguise
He thought her a very respectable maid
And hoped she would never discover his trade

The witch was not wanting in womanly wiles
She covered her bridgegroom with
Waffles and smiles
Shе only went witching on Saturday night
And hoped in between timеs it
All would go right
Next day the witch bore the wizard an elf
So handsome he looked like the devil himself
And he was the devil himself

The wizard looked down at his son, surprised
Saying "None of my family has lavender eyes
I think for my honor there's only one course
I'll ask you to grant me an instant divorce"

The witch was in tears for
She knew beyond doubt
She certainly hadn't been gadding about
And now since the baby had lavender eyes
She saw very clearly her husband's disguise

The devil looked up from his
Crib and he smiled
"Don't break up your home
You must think of your child
Remember your poor little child"

"A child, " said the witch
"as is very well known
Requires a mama and papa of his own
Although you're a very contemptible man
I think we should both stick
It out if we can"

The wizard refused to acknowledge his son
But in dutiful deeds he would not be outdone
By a wife who would waffle
And put things to rights
And stick to her knitting on Saturday nights
The witch settled down
And the wizard as well
And both began raising the devil in hell
In rage and vexation and tears

The witch can't stop witching
The wizard won't speak
And though they've been married
For only a week
It seems like a thousand years