Dan Bull - Dear Auntie lyrics

Dear Auntie Beeb

Don't take away our radio
We need a place - a place to go
Where we can play our favourite shows
Don't take away our radio

When I first heard the word
About BBC 6 I thought
"This is absurd, is the BBC sick?"
It rocked the airwaves enough
To keep me seasick
But it's the first to get sunk
- can we believe it?
And I thought pirates were meant
To be the problem
But obviously not 'cause your
Lot's already got some
Doctor, doctor, what's your option
What are you going to drop from
The roster to cost cut?
The Asian Network plays the best work
Of a strain of the nation
That strains to get heard
And now you're severing the nerves
Of a massive demographic
It's not a very clever tactic, is it?
The last bastions of unsigned action
Independents depend on it for traction
Ask Lamacq or Bobby Friction for his reaction
My prediction isn't one of satisfaction
Do the maths, it's a simple subtraction:
Take away the stations and you
Chase away the talent
Listening figures isn't your biggest purpose
It's first and foremost to
Provide public service
I'm not saying other stations are worthless
But adverts are adverse and make me nervous
We deserve to have a say in
What we'd like to see
I mean after all, we pay the licence fee

Don't take away our favourite shows
Don't take away our radio
Don't take away our favourite shows
Don't take away our radio

You need to appeal to the
People that feel John Peel
And want to keep it real
So please, pretty Beeb
We appeal for a new deal
We'd be please, d if the spiel was repealed
DB sees what's needed to escape
From the danger zone:
More DAB radios in the nation's homes
The audience is there
They just need connecting
In the same way your
Arrangement needs correcting
Next thing on the list that's vexing
Bloody everybody is you spending money
Like it's never ending
Even a yellow bellied Teletubby could
Tell us it's crazy laa-Laa Lady Gaga
Pay me half of what you pay to Clarkson
I'll be laughing like I can't
Keep a straight face, straight up
If there's a budgetary deficit to make up
Then wake up and give Big Jeremy a pay cut

Don't take away our favourite shows
Don't take away our radio
Don't take away our favourite shows
Don't take away our radio

There's enough talent out here
For like forty channels
But we only get to hear the top forty sellers
You're running it like Basil
Does to Fawlty Towers
Literally - ask Andrew Sachs
He could talk for hours
About how he was pushed about as Manuel
Then Johnny Ross and Russell Brand
Did it as well
Man, Johnny Rotten wouldn't slag
The living Hell
Out of an old man's grandkid on his cell
Well, if Russell Brand and the
Six million dollar man
Are the cream of the crop then
You can hang the DJ

Radio 1 - sweet for teenagers
Radio 2 - great if you're really ancient
Radio 3 - for those of a refined taste
Radio 4 - all talking and giant brains
Radio 5 - only sport fans are tuned in
Radio 6 - it's the music we're losing

Don't take away our radio
We will complain until you know
It's a mistake - I'm afraid so
Don't take away our radio