Dan Bull - Half-Life lyrics

Good to meet you, cordial greetings (Hi)
They call me Gordon Freeman
And up until this morning
I was an ordinary normal human
Eating and reading the ingredients on
A box of cereals then heading off to the
Office of Anomalous Materials
Realise I’m late so I’ll have
To catch you later
Gotta catch a train to Black
Mesa’s anti mass chamber
Put on my hazmat in case the
Vat breaks ‘cause that’s dangerous
You’d have to evade the blast radius
Of a resonance cascade that’s
The last stage of –
Ah, ahh! It’s it’s actually
It’s actually happening
Th-this is not good! This is – shit
Wake up in the chamber with a bad head
Everybody in the lab dead
I better had fled, this is dead rad
Get it? Dead rad, hit a headcrab
With a crowbar, I’m a lonestar
Yo, guard! Gotta go
But I’ll owe you a postcard
Oh darn! Life is so hard, with no halves
Let alone half, like a diet with low carbs
But, I like it so far
Life now has a worth and a purpose
Find out what on earth is occurring
Wipe out any vermin that’s stirring
Fly now to the surface and hurrry
There’s a person that’s lurking, queer
Think I’ve seen him working here gee, man
I’m not really certain what he’s observing
But, I’m going to persevere, though I’m mere-
Ly an engineer, I’ll end your career

G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-Man (And)
F-F-F-F-F-F-F-Freeman (Who?)
G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-Man (And)
F-F-F-F-F-F-F-Freeman

Damn, everybody’s after me
Guess that’s the way it has to be
From Black Ops to G-Man
And all these dastardly
Bastard beings, masked marines
I’m blasting things with SPAS-12s
Then take a break to recharge
My shield and grab health
Electric impulses convulse with the
Most violent sound
Sending houndeyes to the pound, firing rounds
Sliding round mines, if life
Has half a meaning, well I’ve found mine
Bouncing through the sky so high
That I’m on cloud nine
Low gravity provides some downtime
To hit the ground
I am bringing down giants as
If they’re fricking houseflies
Hitch a ride inside a monorail car
Swinging off a tentacle like ahhhhhhhh!
I get in the ring with anybody, man
Who’s on next? I’ll wreck you
Trekking from the land of
Xen to Lambda Complex hang on one sec
I think I’ve got the wrong specs
That baby looks gargantuan
These lenses can’t be convex
Imagine the conception that must
Have been some sex
Not to mention giving birth to it
How much can bums stretch?
But enough talk of proportions
And awkward contortions
To pull the portal shut calls
For the goriest abortion

F-F-F-F-F-F-F-Freeman (And)
G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G man (Who?)
F-F-F-F-F-F-F-Freeman (And)
G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G man