Dan Bull - I'm the King of the Castle lyrics

Ahh, do you smell that?

Look at my fortress, it's bloody gorgeous
I'm looking forward to
Seeing how sturdy yours is
I hope you bought buildings
And contents insurance
'Cause you're about to make a
Claim of epic proportions
You were appointed with a
Place of great importance
You'll be disappointed when it's
Nothing more than sawdust
You're getting shelled like a walnut or
Shelled like a corn husk
Or shelled like an unfortunate tortoise
This track's enormous like my pink sword is
But, I'm running out of rhymes
So bring me my thesaurus (Aw yiss)
Anything you build up will be
Brought to the floor with


Force, feel the buildup, yes, of course
Here's the chorus

Come on, I'm ready
For anything you're sending at me
I'm the king of my castle, bow to me
I'm aching for the battle, one, two, three
Come on, I'm ready
For anything you're sending at me
I'm the king of my castle, bow to me
I'm aching for the battle, one, two, three

Dunking on packs of wolves
As if they're basketballs
And I did that before
The sport was fashionable
Your faction's calling for a nasty fall
And I've been smashing walls
From here to Aston Hall
I am impassable, I'm unsurpassable
And when it comes to demolition I'm a natural
Fact, your walls and gravity are incompatible
You need 'em bashed to the floor
And I'm the chap to call
My mouth's a cannon that is
Rammed with massive balls
I'm rapping to Pachelbel's Canon
And it's classical
In practical terms, I'm taking tactical turns
But still collapsing buildings is
My main thematic concern
I'll never have my fill
With abusing your battlements
It's more amusing to me than
The sound of flatulence
Benevolent, I do it for your
Benefit and betterment
So remember than when I'm
Wrecking your settlement
There ain't nothing left of it
Except for bit's of sediment
Ready for Bovis to set up a new development
(Who?)
I'm tearing through your regiments as if
They're bit's of loo roll
And when I'm done, I will return again
Rip you a new hole (Hahaha! Hey, hey hey)

Come on, I'm ready
For anything you're sending at me
I'm the king of my castle, bow to me
I'm breaking you in battle, under siege
Come on, I'm ready (Whoo)
For anything you're sending at me
I'm the king of my castle, bow to me
I'm breaking you in battle, under siege

Um, my liege? Yes? We're under siege
Whose limbs are these? They
Must be somebody's
But before we succumb I should
Come up with a speech
Or borrow one, that's easier
So once more unto the breech!
Oi, oi, who wants a piece? Come on
Come get it anyone from sheep to priests
You having fun yet? Fighting all the undead
Right from dawn to sunset
By now the body count's gotta
Be more than a hundred
But, I'm not done yet and I'm not gonna rest
Until there's precisely one less
Than one left after a hard battle
You'll find Daniel in his hard castle
His detractors captive in the back
With legs and arms shackled
Supping on a cup of ale
Regaling the court with tales
Of the time you tried to step
Up and failed to prevail
Tuck your tail in between your
Legs and do one
Or yet again, I'll rip you a new one
Sat in my fortress, it's bloody gorgeous
I'll never surrender it to the National Trust
What a performance, I'd call it flawless
Just like the hole inside your
Castle where your floor was
(Hah! Hey, hey hey)

Come on, I'm ready
For anything you're sending at me
I'm the king of my castle, bow to me
I'm returned from the battle, victory
Come on, I'm ready
Let's sit down and have a cup of tea
I'm the king of my castle, bow to me
I'm returned from the battle, victory