Dan Bull - Jacob Rees-Mogg Rap Roast lyrics

My God jacob Rees-Mogg
Check your priorities at once
Jacob Rees-Mogg your punctuation policies
Are wrong jacob Rees-Mogg
No "and" following comma, please, what
Jacob Rees-Mogg
Is with all these frivolities?

Mr rees-Mogg i understand your concerns
But, I cannot tell you that I am please
D to learn
The list of words which you determine
Unacceptable and worthless
Due to the fact of their being
No longer fit for purpose
You’d better check your work
‘Cause when I look at Hansard
There are countless examples of you
Flouting your own standards
You've too many I's yourself
What an ongoing disappointment
And thus calling to question
Your self appointed anointment
As the guardian and arbiter
Of grammatical convention
So see me after class Rees-Mogg
You’ve got yourself into detention
Whether or not it was your intention
You’ve brought attention to
The boiling tension
And contentions we’re all fomenting
There’s no point in pretending we
All can be friends and it’s hard to enforce
A convention in language
When language is always dissenting
It wasn’t always cemented in rules
Semantics or how things are
Meant to be called
The fact that language is bending is cool
Ascending through trends and transcending all
The attempts to control and
Restrain it's application’s
A source of endless fascination
But actually, Jacob
I’ve taken a minute just to ascertain
Whether I’ve considered and have
Given it enough cogitation
To safely treat this
Linguistic oversimplification as
Just a misinterpretation deserving
Of floccinaucinihilipilification
Or if you’re a pillock deserving
Of all of this vilification

My God jacob Rees-Mogg
Check your priorities at once
Jacob Rees-Mogg your punctuation policies
Are wrong jacob Rees-Mogg
No "and" following comma, please, what
Jacob Rees-Mogg
Is with all these frivolities?

You’re a man that hasn’t got a lot of equals
You don’t want to be like the comma people
Use religion to excuse your belief
Stating same sex marriages should
Not be legal but, I’ve got to give it to you
You’re a man of principle
And an imbecile but honestly
I’m really rather quite surprised to find
You don’t believe in hanging criminals
You’re cut from a cloth of vellum
Despite what everyone says you’re
Not a bellend
You’re a little bit privileged
Very old fashioned
But, you stick to principles with a passion
But when you’re in the chicken coop
You get covered in chicken poo
Why did you give a speech
To the Traditional Britain Group
Now you can never say that
Is something you didn’t do
You also sat and planned stuff
With Steve Bannon didn’t you?
Never change your babbies’ nappies
That’s what nannies do
Naturally, anyway you’ve got an allergy
Ask Ali G
Jacob is the member for the 18th century
If contemporary’s an ailment he’s the remedy
He doesn’t want anything to do with
Anything that is in living memory
It’s not cricket if you’ve not got a
Ticket for entry into the Gentry
He isn’t so friendly, nah, that’s a fib
He’s a man of the people on
Which we each can depend
Though Jacob, I speculate you won’t reply
Though hopefully you do
Jacob I’ve invested so much of my time in you
And how should I refer to you?
Is it earl, lord, duke, baron, earl or sire?
Yours sincerely
Daniel Cheltenham Douglby Digby Bull Esquire

My God jacob Rees-Mogg
Check your priorities at once
Jacob Rees-Mogg your punctuation policies
Are wrong jacob Rees-Mogg
No "and" following comma, please, what
Jacob Rees-Mogg
Is with all these frivolities?