Dan Bull, The Stupendium, Epic Rap Battles of History - Minecraft vs Lego lyrics

It's the battle of the builders!
Bricks v blocks!
In the red corner, everybody's
Favorite precision-molded master builder
 the Lego Man! And in the blue corner, the
Polygonal pilgrim, the right-angled
Adventurer, minecraft Steve!

You might recognize me
From the world's biggest video game
They call me Steve did they even
Give you a name?
I'm the new kid on the block
Bringing new blocks to the kids
From the digital underground
Don't need boxes and lids
I'm freestyling lines that are
Dropping you dead
Your hair's the only thing coming off
The top of your head
You're still under construction


Can't be having much fun
Amidst a world of bricks in which
Your fists can't even clutch one
You're a bygone era bargain bin man
Your time's passed
Your style's child's play
Make way for Minecraft!
My blocks are rocks, logs, quartz, and lapis
While yours are plastic and that's it
Check my stats, look
I'm killing it on YouTube
I can fell a forest with my fists
What can you do?
I'll build an obsidian tomb and
Lock you up in there mind you
I could do that with some Tupperware


Not fair to square raps against this cube
No joints, I still articulate better than you
I'm a classic, an icon, with style to boot
'Cause no matter what I'm wearing
It's a three-piece suit
I have sparked imaginations
Every kid in every nation
On and on for generations
You can't stop what I'm creating
Check my space station
No Tekkit installation
You're low-res, homeless
No chance of overtaking
I'm a timeless line of iconic design
While you melt kids' minds one
Block at a time
For centuries we left child labour behind
You've essentially trapped them all
Back in the mines!
Won't be fooled by the blocks that you got
Without a modpack
All you're rocking is rocks
So have fun as you fumble in the dirt
Want to step to me? You'll
See how much that hurts!

You got two rappers
But the battle's six-sided
Boxes in the ring, taking
Swings at the prize, it's
Apparently imperative we get it decided
Which brick clique gets kids excited?

Gather 'round, everybody, drum roll please
And see the freak with two bumholes! Jeez!
If you come for Steve
Then your loot gets dropped
I'm rocking more blocks than a Rubik's shop
Look, the truth is
I don't want to keep dissing
But you're useless soon as
There's one piece missing
I'm unlimited fun-bringing don
Of construction i worked it out myself
You just follow instructions!
I brave caves for days, digging diamonds
Capping creepers
Sending spiders to the grave
Can you keep up? Nah!
I can end an enderman while he renders in
More architecturally smart than
Simon Henderson
Don't send for the Avengers, Marvel
I'm assembling you can't even take your
Trousers down without dismembering!
Now we're entering survival mode
You're just gathering dust
So here's the final blow


Trample me? You'll need more than a horse
'Cause you're tangling with a
Toy box tour-de-force
I may be a plaything but I break the mould
Every day
Three hundred thousand of me get sold
Heard of Overwatch? Did you hope to contend?
'Cause we're over Notch, yeah
Your trend's at an end
You overshot if you came to depend
On the whims of the Net just to get dividends
Your phenomenon topped all the charts
It's true but they dropped off faster
Than Notch dropped you
A decade ago, you were top of the views
But you'd still be at the bottom
If it wasn't for Pewds
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But they aren't intimidating when
They're all you own
Want to get a brick-slap from
Some bric-a-brac? Better pack
Your bit's into your zip while
I'm building me a throne

You got two rappers
But the battle's six-sided
Boxes in the ring, taking
Swings at the prize, it's
Apparently imperative we get it decided
Which brick clique gets kids excited?

Come on, guys? What's the sense
In mindless squabbling?
When you could try to represent
All kinds of modelling?
Constructive criticism? Pay attention
To my offering
'Cause all the things that we
Could build together's mine-boggling!
I'm the proof of what we can achieve
Creative? Creator? What's with all the beef?
Cook up some ideas
There's no need to grief!
Dig down in your hearts
Find the parts to believe!