Dan Bull, Drew Hernandez - Nerd vs. Veteran Rap Battle lyrics

Hey, mister!
I understand you want to date my sister
Well, I'd rather see her with a
Hipster or a vagrant drifter
Take your blistered hands away
You savage ape, resist her
(right) she needs a guy who plays Risk
Not games of Twister

(Ah) the animosity offered with no apology
Don't bite the hand that protects
Your freedom and democracy, bro
So check it out
'cause I'm asking for some respect
You don't want to see what
Happens when I get upset so come correct

Defeat me?
You don't have the brains to beat me
I'll sneak in and steal
All your regions discreetly


I'm on the cutting edge of modern technology
You're the missing link
In evolutionary biology (ah)

OK, I see you're a little upset, little Timmy
The world ain't fair and life
Is a little fibby
You better stand at attention if
You trying to smack talk
Attack you like a Black Hawk and
Make you want to back off

In the future
Battle will happen through computers
No boots on the ground or troops to be found
So where does that leave you, sir?
At the back of the queue
With no notable skills
'Cause no employer's going to call
You for your total kills
You're not even worth the phone call bills
While my own ability in
Coding more than makes
Up for my lack of social skills
I'm too busy planning to get out there yet
(right) one day my brain power's going
To pay your welfare check

All praise General Mattis with the CHAOS
I got the VA, GI Bill, everything paid off
Traveled the world five times
You never left your basement
But that's who you become when
You a nerdy kid gaming welcome to my world
Small arms fire's a given
No kidding, I beat my enemies to submission
You wouldn't stand a chance
Even behind computers
I'm trained for cyberattacks so everything
You do is useless

I'm practiced in strategy and tactics
You couldn't even find this
Planet with an atlas
I run circles around you
With my pinky fingertips
You better call a medic 'cause this
Lyric's going to sting a bit

Medic! Medic! Nobody here to save you
Call a Medevac but they're too
Busy for a player 2
You coming in broke and unreadable
Maybe speak up ruck a mile in my boots
You wouldn't even keep up

I don't need to leave the house
I don't even leave the couch
I can eat pizza and stream TV
With my keyboard and mouse
Anyone can dress up like Vin Diesel and shout
Fix your posture, soldier
You're beginning to slouch
But can you think strategically?
Make a million quick decisions immediately?
These superior brain cells deal
With it easily (eh heh)
See the map from high above
My whole perspective risen
Unlike you I don't follow orders
- I give them

Knife hands so sharp, better move out the way
My group so tight I get expert for days
M4 50 cal, boy you better step up
Skull drag you all over this house
So you never get up
I'm a trained professional
So what do I call this?
I'm the bicep to freedom
And you're the armpit
Fair warning, I'm coming to conquer all
The nerds are about to fall
And I'm yelling Geronimo (geronimo)

So you've got a girlfriend, big deal
I can hug my body pillow
While my mom brings meals
But can you occupy a
Territory or make alliances
How can you research weapons
You don't even know what science is
Winning takes diplomacy
Experience and vision
And my intuition says you're
Lacking in precision
So what you could beat me
In the physical domain
While you're out I'll sit and take
Your city in the game
So you'll be out fighting wars
While I'm writing treaties
But, I'm not even sure if
We're the same species
You're all brawn and no brains
GI Joe with a strong chest
I'm already legendary immortal Conquest

You deal microtransactions with
Fast satisfaction i'm smashing your faction
With pinpointed action my cavalry, infantry
Archers and mages are led by the
Gods from all of the ages
I'll sweep down upon you from high in the sky
You're way too late, nerd, I'm taking Delphi

You think this is game over? I say no sir!
I'll take over your Humvee
With my Range Rover
While you're out celebrating
I'll be here delegating
Planning, deliberating
Conquering and elevating
My armies are in motion and
You're barely out the door
I let you win the battle
So I could win the war