Dan Bull - Somebody Call A Doctor! lyrics

Ay, look, uh, yeah, I'd like
To make an appointment, please
I need a doctor no, not Dr dre, an ac-
An actual medical doctor, please

Ay, this song's kind of
Like a doctor's appointment
I made it for my welfare, not for enjoyment
The current state of healthcare's
Gotten fairly poignant
Employment in the NHS is
Stress and disappointment
Plus regarding these doctors and nurses
There's a large divide between what their
Cost and their worth is
What they're giving us is
Not just customer's service
Thus I'm not certain what they've
Done to deserve this
And I know economically there's
Not often a surplus
Especially with Tony Crony stock
That we purchase
It's like the coffers are coffins
Dropped in a furnace
Gosh, it must have just got
Lost under the surface
Observing those at the top's
Like watching a circus
Of obnoxious impervious toffs
That are discourteous
Not fussed what we eat
They just scoff their desserts up
And really couldn't give a toss
If it hurts us
They've got the moral virtue of
A disturbingly damp sock
Let me just take a second to
Say - fuck Matt Hancock!
And fuck Boris Johnson! There's
Nothing of his conscience
Not because he's competent
But 'cause he's over confident
He's not a plonker, he's an avaricious wanker
Ask a question different days
You'll have a different answer
Abandoned his kid that he had with a mistress
That just goes to show that it isn't the kid
That's the bastard!

Jesus, fuck! Fucking shit!
Somebody, call a doctor, quick!
Fuck this shit! What the fuck?
Somebody, call a doctor up!
Jesus, what the fuck is that?
Somebody, call a doctor stat!
What the hell? Fucking wow!
Somebody, call a doctor now!

I'm a rapper without purpose
Stacking up countless verses
Tracks queued like patients in
The National Health Service
My playlist is a waiting list I made
To pass the days to death
I'm praying that it's painless
Then remembered I'm an atheist
Would you actually look at the state of this?
Can you imagine your taxes bloody
Paid for this? Crazy shit!
Sorry, I didn't want to be ableist, today
But it just gets straight under my skin
It's subcutaneous look at this great big
List of miscellaneous failures
Is it incompetence, corruption
Or plain flippin' laziness?
Follow the dollar trail
There's obviously some shady shit
The misappropriation of our Great
British safety net
Maybe if we necromanced Clement Attlee back
He'd save us, but sadly these days
It ain't what labour is
See, it's karma, all I see is Kier Starmer
In a sea of parliamentary
Sharks appeasing big pharma
He's a real charmer until he'll disarm you
With a demeanour that appears harmless like
A meaner Shere Khan does
Of only Tony Benn was here, he'd be a father
To our social care
And sheathe it in a coat of steel armour
You know who's slightly overrated?
Mister B Obama
Clear killing civilians with drones
He's a real bomber
Told us he'd close Guantanamo Bay
So why the hell is it still open today?
I know that's not remotely related to
The topic of this track
But, it's a fact, I just, you know
Needed to say stop idolising people
At most you guys are equal
Then you won't be so surprised
When finding that they're evil
I wish politicians weren't such
A fucking obstacle
Look at them putting hospitals
Under mobster rule
Hey, I just remembered this is a G-funk bop
So I better start popping off my Glock pistol

Jesus, fuck! Fucking shit!
Somebody, call a doctor, quick!
Fuck this shit! What the fuck?
Somebody, call a doctor up!
Jesus, what the fuck is that?
Somebody, call a doctor stat!
What the hell? Fucking wow!
Somebody, call a doctor now!

Mixing up nasty flows with
The Hippocratic Oath
Giving the government such an intimate exam
It needs a chaperone
Hammer home that reflex test
Until I shatter bone
And they're wailing like an eighties
Solo on a saxophone
Fact is I'm just sat alone
Chatting through your gramophone
The evidence that I present is anecdotal
And I'm hopeful
That you know better than just
Believing any bloke who's speaking
In a manner that suggests he
Knows something any deeper
Than a medical professional
Credentials are respectable
However, it's always essential that
You check the source
Like you check your balls
You need to squeeze the whole testicle
Know when to consult professionals
Or to be skeptical
Don't recommend you take this
Track as medical advice
Because I'm just inventing anything I like
Like a fake war veteran who's
Never been in fights
But pretending that he'd die for
His fellas by their side
Our leaders treat the NHS as benefit in kind
They're rarely fit for purpose
Yet they never just resign
Just keep telling us it's fine
With a repetitious line
They prepared for television baring
Their malicious mind
Sneaky underhanded wicked venomously vile
Steal that advantage with a devilish delight
Peel back the bandage
The infection in it's rife
It seems the medicine cabinet
Has some skeletons inside

Jesus, fuck! Fucking shit!
Somebody, call a doctor, quick!
Fuck this shit! What the fuck?
Somebody call a doctor up!
Jesus, what the fuck is that?
Somebody, call a doctor stat!
What the hell? Fucking wow!
Somebody call a doctor now!

Sitting from a considerably funky ambulance
Oh my god, imagine- hahaha
Imagine an low rider
Ambulance, the hydraulic, hah
Bouncing up and down, hahaha
Patient in the back just, uh ah, we have fun
We have fun, don't we?