Dan Bull - The Arch-Illager lyrics

I was born into a cruel and unforgiving
Nasty world that didn't want me
They rejected, disrespected
Scorned and shunned me cold and hungry
All I wanted was some company, to be comfy
But, to put it bluntly
They were being a bunch
Of considerably rude neighbours so I gave up
Then I stumbled on a bloody massive cave
Look the doorway yawned awake slowly
I wasn't brave normally
But a strange force was calling me
And so with a flaming torch in hand
I made my way forward
Though those serrated corners on the
Boulders made it awkward i gazеd on in awe
Following a short reconnaissance
I saw what lay bеfore me
It was called the Orb of Dominance
It held sway over my thoughts
I gained confidence 'Til at once
The commoners no longer had my tolerance

I am a small Illager, the littlest around
But, now, I've got a small feeling
I'm going to be well-endowed
I am a small Illager
My will, it stands proud
Growing 'til I fit the throne
So hand me the crown

Now, bow down show me the top of your head
Hey, I said bow down!
Else, I'll be dropping you dead
I am the Arch-Illager and I
Will pillage your village until you give in
So run, you can't win
If you stand in my path
You'll get trampled like grass
I see you haven't any heating
I can provide that no need to thank me
Here's a torch, completely free of charge
I'll leave your family tree scorched
Slashed with lethal steel shards
Oh, I see you're planning a resistance?
If you're going to lead the charge
Be advised
Objects in your rear view appear large
Your mistake was thinking this a
Safe space for your opinions
'Til my minions chased you straight
Away from my dominion so make haste
Spread my covenant all across the kingdom
I'm your new government
Coming for more than just your income
You can try assembling a
Rebellion of adventurers
It's never going to bother me, my friend
So don't pretend it does

I'm the Arch-Illager now come on down
Down into my dungeon have a look around
I am the Arch-Illager, living in a cave
And having a party
While keeping villagers enslaved

Now come on down, down, come on, quicker!
Chop, chop, come on down
Down some hard liquor
I am the Arch-Illager, handle my business
Now everybody give a big hand to our visitors
Look at you and your gang
You couldn't be more villainous
Forcing my hand
You're going to be all prisoners
No forgiveness
I'm sending in my skeletons in regiments
Defending us against your weapons
With a vengeance
Repelling your torches, enemy forces
Making me nauseous
Better be cautious or you'll be left on
The edge of a tall cliff awkward!
Better restore quick
Then come down into the dungeon
Where the smell is rather pungent
Can't tell if it's your bunions or
You've been cutting some onions

I'm the Arch-Illager
Thank you for coming down
Now make yourself comfortable
Have a look around i am the Arch-Illager
Catching you unaware
If you come in unprepared
Here's someone you haven't met

So glad you came down
Down, summoned to my lair
There now, what's the matter, chuck?
You look a little scared
I am the Arch-Illager and I warned you
That if you didn't give up
Then I'd have to confiscate your head

I'm not to be messed with, me i may be small
But, I'm kind of a big deal
So my suggestion, should you wish to heed it
And I strongly advise that you do
Is to bugger off