Dan Bull - The Bard's Secret lyrics

Excuse me, outlander
A word in your ear, if I may

Well met, stranger
Elated to make your acquaintance
Now, may I entertain you with
Some quotations over cadence?
You see, I bear some rare
Amazing information
And you look like someone who
Is used to strange situations
There is a hidden portal
Within the Bard's College
I was brought through
An immortal to impart knowledge
About an other-wordly form of Redguard sonnet
They took a thumping drum beat
And said bars on it
I wandered through Solitude
Departed Haafingar
Past Hjaalmarch, through The Reach
East of Markarth i reached the Whiterun Hold
I preached in rhyme and told the people
That the need to speak was higher
Than the price of gold
Nothing can beat soul, not even sweet rolls
I've got it locked like a
Pick stuck in a keyhole
I leave you wee trolls
Wishing that you'd re-rolled
By the Nine Divines
My rhyme's a sight to behold
My freeholds are threefold
I rock the property chain
Cause, I'm the top bloody Thane
In this Monopoly game
So you'd better watch the throne, Stormcloak
Cause you're getting overthrown by
An ordinary bloke
It's high time Skyrim had a new High King
And I like hiking - it's quite exciting
I'm descended from the Vikings
Back in my kingdom
But my lyric writing's better than
My skill at fighting
My pen is mightier than swords
It's the right choice
They call me "MF Thu'um" when I use my Voice
With each rap, my Speechcraft keeps stacking
If you could see the graph
You'd actually be laughing
You'll never sound as fresh, I'm a rockstar
I climb the seven thousand
Steps to High Hrothgar
Like Jurgen Windcaller
My words'll bring more disorder
Than mixing Skooma in an
Orcish brigand's drink order
A bawdy bard that raps
My Voice'll cause your cart to crash
Your horse's armor cracks under the
Awesome force of Paarthurnax
But here's the secret I needed to tell:
You can be an MC with me aswell
Forget the Blades
Me and you don't need the Greybeards
Who are Mehrunes Dagon and the
Daedra to an atheist?
Mages, take your Spell Tome and
Go the hell home
Cause who needs boots of speed
When we've got shell toes?
And, so whether you drink Honeymead or Alto
Be sure that Dan'll smelt flows
'til all of Tamriel knows
You should use the bars of
The bard deep inside you
And 'til we meet again
Friend: Talos guide you talos guide you