Dan Bull - The Stick of Truth lyrics

A cup of Fairy Ale isn’t
Much if not accompanied
By some bardic poems and songs

For a thousand years
The battle has been waged
But there’s strange tidings
The tides of war are sure to change
We live in sinister times
There’s an imminent fight
Bigger than Kyle’s mom
Have you seen her behind?
A hero will rise, he needs to be wise
And Jews can’t be saviours
So it’s best he isn't circumcised
There’s whisperings around these parts
Of a new kid
There’s a house on Fuller Street that
They say he moved in
I hear tell he’s a muteling
He doesn’t speak much
It has nothing to do with
The game’s pre-release budget
We need a saviour greater than the Dragonborn
Let me consult my magic tome stashed
Away within this stack of porn
There’s Cartman
Grand Wizard ruling Kupa Keep
Where you can barter
Buy some armour or just find some food to eat
This is the tent in which we kept
The Stick of Truth but see
Clyde had one job
And he messed it up quite stupidly
And so now, new kid, it’s up to you to seek
And return the Stick to it's place
To break the losing streak
Let us proceed in this hour of darkness
With the courage of dragons
And the power of fart mist
Through towers and arches
We scour the territories
Whether showers or fire pit's
Disembowel our enemies
The sourest hardships will never
Defeat our people
We keep releasing lethal farts
That are without equal
An ancient secret: the Nagasaki Fart
Leave you with a bleeding nose and
Looking like you party hard
With such an epic quest
You need a band of merry men
To dig up buried treasure chests and
See you to the very end
Butters is a Paladin
Stan’s a Warrior with AD
Kenny is a Princess, don’t ask why
That’s how he’s rolling lately
And Kyle finally acknowledges his true self
As he transmutes into the form
Of a High Jew Elf
So go forth now, blow the war horn
I will stay and guard the Keep
And maybe look at more porn
Use your power shrewdly
Or never see your enemy fall
Because one does not simply
Fart on anyone’s balls
Battle Underpants Gnomes
Goblins and Vampire Kids
The town relies on you to undo
That which has been did
In you we trust, I've prophesied your destiny
Put an end to evil in
The nuts like a vasectomy