Dan Bull - Thrifty Beatnik lyrics

Hello, everybody today, we're going to be
Talking all about clothes

They say clothes maketh the man
And I'm rough around the edges
So I get them second hand
I'm a Dapper Dan, mon capitan
But, I can hardly afford food
It might as well be Ramadan
Not an Islamic man, but I believe in charity
And that's the reason I need my
Meagre salary to feed me calories
I could eat a bag of sweets
Until my teeth have cavities and
I'm in bleeding agony (aah)
The reason for this
Allegory cuisine-themed analogy
Is so you can see there's really
Not much cash left for vanity
My malady's a lack of Pounds and Ps
As an impoverished musician
Food isn't guaranteed, apparently
So my apparel needs value
Unlike the brands' TV ads try and sell you
I don't wanna be a walking billboard
That's not what the reason that
I walk this world's for

I've just got too many nice clothes

Stuff from Oxfam? I've got lots, fam
Enough to fill up a rather large box
Pantaloons to top hats and shoes to socks
Dan's the dude to rock
That used luminous jockstrap (eugh)
Perusing the hotpants and choosing
Them off racks i don't mean to be rude
But God damn, I'm hot, man
(woo) i've got a bit of a tummy
So this is fitting funny
But, I don't give a shit 'cause
Of how sick I'm spitting, dunny
(brah) see me, I'm a thrifty beatnik
I got this whole outfit for fifty three quid
(hahah) so if you need kit for a minimal fee
It's as simple as one
(click) , two (click) , three (click)
Fork out a little bit of moolah for new garms
(di-ding) if anybody says it's not enough
They're chatting rhubard (ah)
Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah, Zip-a-Dee-Ay
You want a dead fellow's
Wardrobe? Bid on eBay

I'm low on cheddar and so
I'm going second hand
'Til I compose a better plan for dressing
Man (ah)
Wearing a garish tracksuit
(yeah) with a pair of jackboots
Family staring, thinking "Dan
Where is that you?" (what?)
I put myself on eBay
But the winner didn't pay me though
I'm nearly at the stage that I'll
Be broke and made to sew
I'd make my own clothes, but I'm a lazybones
Given my own way
I'd stay in my baby grow until
I weigh like eighty stone (wehehegh)
So whether you like eighties
Clothes or ladies' coats
Get them second hand
They're fresher than the Daily Show
So get your daily dose of
An amazing change of clothes
You'll be smooth and razor sharp
Like using shaving foam
I say stay away from those
Mainstream label trading posts
Once I saw a tie twice the
Price of a stately home
If you aren't on the gravy train
So can't pour the gravy boat
All over the pastry dough
You know the place to go

I'd go out tonight
But, I simply can't decide what to wear
Yes, I'd go out tonight
But, I simply can't decide what to wear