David Parra, Locksmith, G-Macc, Kamikazi - P.T.S.D. (Pain Through Suffering & Delusion) lyrics
[David Parra, Locksmith, G-Macc, Kamikazi - P.T.S.D. Pain Through Suffering & Delusion lyrics]
I don't know where to start
This is my cry for help, help for me do art
Maybe my time in hell welcomes a new start
So let me read my mind self
What I been through lord
I think it started out with my father why?
Got so many kids so why bother cry
So I kinda sheltered myself
Off from the world
Became socially awkward and bothered hi
I was just a little boy trying to fill a void
Mama's choices didn't leave much to offer
Then the crack came and I lost her
The fuck was I supposed to do huh
Mama taught me blood will sink in water
She got 2 sons 1 daughter
But one died before me
Cause my daddy can't keep
His hands to himself
The time he was beating Ari's
Mom in front of me
She looked right at me yelling screaming help
And I didn't feel anything not even
A thought to help her
My daddy hit the brakes and on
The road we left her
For years I roamed my mental trying
To find the reasons why
I was okay with that would enter
Its gotta be evil from another dimension
And maybe I'm seeing demons I
Need a little protection
My aunt's dad snuck up in
The room and molested
Really hard to live with the fact
All he got was arrested
I lashed out, ran up in the street side yes
Drinking liquor 13 I slept 14 on the weed
I crept to the mean side kept
Start to notice I could be myself
I could leave this shell
But the whole life it crumbles
How could it get worse
Must be cursed to find trouble
Just give me a minute to get it together
But once I do that shit
Comes right back and troubles
My journey starts now
Before my mother moved out of state
That's when I fell deep into hate
I never got into the months
I was home by myself
And I still went to school every day
I felt cool in a way
A C and D student but hey
Mama boyfriend beat her up
So we're moving today
To the sheltered now that's
That helter-skelter rap play
When you learn to love things that
Can cause you such pain brain
No honor in his discharge
Came home to your honor I was mischarged
Nearly fell into a felon
As a father he was fell into his daughter
And her life he was dislodged
And the mothers unstable
On the first tour she was barely prenatal
On the second tour overseas he was squeezed
Till the psyche the mental
Effects turned fatal crime by the cradle in
His bedroom hunched over
They classify us but he
Only glanced once over
And his wife feels she's the only one sober
This gon set us up for life
That's what he once told her
But they need another income
Praying at the income how the
Hell you spend some
So he figured he would get a new job as a cop
What better place for a soldier
Military mind in the community
50 miles away from his home
So he acts with impunity
Treating all the people as animals less equal
High off the drugs he confiscated illegal
Niggas on the block
They see him as pure evil
Worse than a criminal, lifespans are minimal
He don't give a fuck if you
Old or if you young
If he see you on the streets
You a threat to his physical
Beating on his wife at a steep rate
He can barely see straight
These are the effects of a police state
Loved by the fellows on the force
Forcin him to move up
That's right they made him the chief hey
But society been dying
His actions define him you cannot remind him
People around him don't see eye to eye
And he took his own life
To silence the sirens
My life wasn't simple i used to hang out at
The window of the rental
I used to be cutting the
Bodies up like it's simple
I used to be fuckin the
Bitches bloody like a nympho, tampax
Wait stand back and bomber fluid
Is running through my veins you can
Hand that Glock to me
And ima be turning these
Niggas into chop suey
Following your family back to the house
Now they're on to me
Gotta get away chopper to the face
Hopping the gate and escaped, yup
As long as I'm out no negating safe nope
I was standing in the kitchen
With body parts on the dishes
Nobody knew you was missing
Machete straight to the face
And I'm serving em on a plate
I finish him I'm a menace
Niggas can't even chase me
And I'm in and out like
Needles to the vein be
Methadone other side of your pillow
Where the brains be decomposed