Don’t Flop, Lunar C, Oshea - Lunar C vs. Oshea lyrics

Listen as I spit, Jed
The "C" in "Lunar C" stands for DICKHEAD!
Everybody, let's welcome back Lunar C ‘cause
This shit’s a great pleasure
Respect, ‘cause you've got a lot more
To lose than me
So I hope this prick can take pressure
But we're all glad to see
The returnof this tape measure!
You, on the other hand, can go fuck yourself
You wouldn’t beat me in the
Ring with the Hulkster's help
But he on SBTv, ooh-wee, he mates with Jamal
But, you're from Bradford
Where even the air is halal i said, wait-
I said, Bradford? Air? Halal?
Wait, I need to stop that crap
That verse turnin' into a
Cee Major concept track! I got them Ja Rule
Ashanti punchlines: they're always on time
Your fans are 12 years oldcombined!
He is always posin' for pics with
Spliffs to show he's a madman
Kids! Lunar C smokes weed! BAD MAN!
That's enough of the biggin’
You up, you skinny, illiterate fuck
Your fans’ the world's biggest bunch
Of cock-suckin’ silliest cunts
Before the battle
One of them tried to convince me
That you had a brilliant foot i was like
"A brilliant foot? Ain't that
Some weird shit…"
And then I thought, "Maybe what
My man mean is
That Lunar hit a sweet free kick"
And then he said, "No, Oshea, what I mean is:
His toes are amazing, and his heel's sick!"
Pot smokers!
Listen, fuckin' with Oshea, you’ll never win
Listen, you battle the type of people
I battle on other channels
So I don't have to put no fuckin' effort in
Imagine if I was in a scrap, and
Lookin' like he's never been in a fight
Plus, Bloodstro's seen more in a night
Than you've seen in your life!
Wait a minute!
Bloodstro? Seen more in a night than
You've seen in your life?
Isn't that the most cultured battler at
Every battle you've been in combined?

No, it's not

It is

It's not

It is! Listenbloodstro made you!
I don't give a flying fuck how
Much Don't Flop have paid you
You robbed Ryan: for that
I've never forgave you
Battle rap's ruined his life

I HATE you!

Don't get it twisted, lad
My two-year-old son Finley: he raped you
I'm just sick of all these teenyboppers like
"Lunar C's back! You heard
All about the news!?"
This ain't competition
It's a scenic holiday: all about the views
See, I can't lose this, I do's this
I gotta win
The sharks are circlin' your bitch ass
You've gotta swim
If you rap for too long, lad
I'll rock your chin
‘Cause Oshea's impatient like my doctor'sim!
This next line might come
Across a bit racist, but I don't care
I've got no problem with Bradford, I swear
It's just the last time I
Went there, my brother said
"There's Eurgh!" and I said, "Where?"
And he said, "There, there
There, there, there, and there!"
Listen, you are so Yorkshire
You've got a mate called Gromit
Lad, I don't give a flying fuck if you
Sell more CDs and make more profit
Your name's Jake ‘cause your mother got
Raped by a snake called Roberts!
And this is the end of the verse
But I should just fuckin' smack you
Fuck a battle: those shoes are
Too big for that tracksuit!

(Yo, hold it down)
You are the product of a shag gone wrong
And a snapped condom
A couple days ago, I turned my laptop on
And found a friend request from
Your sister on Matchcom
So I took the bitch to your yard
And fucked her with my forearm
When I pulled my hand out
I had your dad's watch on
Hi, Don't Flop! Daddy's home!
It's been a long time since I've seen you
And you've grown so much
I'm sorry that I left you and your
Mum to deal with that alone
I just decided that I hate her, I had to go
That's a joke!
I'm just here to do Oshea a favor
I heard that he's so broke
He'll take any battle in front of
Him just for the cash alone
I even heard he started buyin' speed
Instead of bags of coke
He had to downgrade from yay
To wiz like Amber Rose!
If I was you, I'd run away now
These punches are game-changers
They'll knock out your horse teeth
You'll need to bail and
Stable from the haymakers
I agreed to do this battle during a meeting
Sat back while Eurgh and my
Manager got my dough sorted
I remember when you agreed to do this during
That phone call with Eurgh later that day
When you was on that dough course
How the fuck did you
Get sacked from Morrisons!?
He had to go and sign on you fat, old pleb!
Now you drive a forklift
I'm sure you'll get a better job soon
Try not to act so stressed
But, I guess it's hard to keep your
Chin up when you have no neck! I'm so flex!
You have a record of 400 losses and 20 wins
As a battler, I can't rate ya
Plus, you are the owner of
A lot of shit shirts
You have the swagger of a darts player!
Let's get this out the way early
Listeni used to think you
And Innuendo was brothers, you was tight
But, you stole his girl Flossie
How can you look him in the eye?
So all them battles where you had
That motherfucker by your side
You mean to tell me you and his
Girl was fuckin' on the slide!?
That's not fucking up the slight
You're a cunt, you crossed the line
I don't know how Innuendo
Couldn't spot the signs
And neither did Flossie eitheryou cunts
Look a lot alike!
But, I'm not perfect either
Everyone makes at least one mistake
But, I'm adamant even I
Wouldn't trust this snake!
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo if you're better than me
Richard Dawkins is a Mormon or a Christian
Pedro beat you freestyling his bars
And yours were written you can't lie
I know you had some lines for
It: your jaw was swingin'
And you got killed for that title by Tony D
I'm sick of people tellin' me
That you're a OG, please,!
I've gotta put you in your
Place: I've got OCD
Your girl's got a face like a cage fighter
I had to thumb a floppy in it like an old PC
I pulled it out
And told the bitch to blow me
She licked me from my feet up
And took it like a champ
She went toe-knee deep! (laughs) yeah!
This dirty
Fat cunt has that "someone's drunk uncle
At a working man's club" swag
You got kicked out of an event
For using crack in the toilets
I'm not lying
Or trying to bend the truth: it's fact
You were shit at King of the Dot
So there's not lettin' you come back
Your battle career's like your
Drug habit's: all
You've got left to do is SMACK!
And you're not gangster
You never took a shit on a shark
You're exaggerating: you just stuck a
Fish up your arse!
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah…I'm talking shit
And this might sound like I'm tryna backpedal
But Oshea is gangster
Just the mention of his name
Could make a man tremble
He'll run in your house and pull the
Heaters out…'cause he collects scrap metal!
You're just bitter ‘cause ya know you
Don't have shit on me
Chill, Donnie! Don't get touchy
Like Bill Cosby
I'll treat this battle like when
I finger your mum i don't need to force it
Just another raw
Worn-out pussy I'll make forfeit!
Yo, we're both Northern
But we don't talk the same
We're from different backgrounds
My parents told me not to throw stones
If I lived in a glass house
Your parents told you not
To throw rocks'cause
You lived in a crack house!

Listen, fuck all his rhymes, init
Lad, it was meant to be two minutes
Not nine minutes yeah, whatever, yeah!
Listen, you wanna talk about my birds
In your schemes? That's raw
Lad, that shit's more pussy than
The pussy with three- fuck
(stumbles, fucks up slightly)
It's goin' nowhere like
Carter Deems's passport
I fucked that up, didn't I?
But listen, this genius, Jake Brook
Added a "C" to "Lunar"
And came up with "Lunar C" super sweet!
But that strategically placed letter
Ain't foolin' me ‘Cause if it wasn't there
You'd simply be"moon MC" fuck Moon MC!
O's got shit down to a T
Head wood that could move a tree
If I said, "Let out a straightener"
You and me you'd hear more "oh oh oh oh's"
From him than fuckin' Lumidee!
You man are more pussy than
The fuckin' Queen's Jubilee
But still he chattin' reckless
Like "Free Weed for Single Mothers"
Free weed for single mothers?
The only man shot on green behind
Yours are the Dingle brothers!
Listen, your clique
A bunch of simple fuckers
My team, Killa Bees: we bring the ruckus
I'll go rummaging through
Your sister's cupboard
Bitch will get all her dick toys stolen
Then I'll punch that fat slut in her
Throat ‘til her fuckin' voice broken
And beat the fuckin' pussy baggier
Than fuckin' Boisht clothing!
Lad, I would rather my dickhead go disabled
Than rock that baghead clothing label!
It's Inglorious Basterds
Guns drawn below the table
So gangster, I put holes in bagels!
(‘Cause, I bake, ya prick)
Yeah, your clique a bunch of chicks
With dicks like The Crying Game
Even the logo for Boisht label
Is dying of shame
All my boys on your sis like a climbing frame
Everyone taking shots at that bitch
Like a firing range this guy's insane
Do you think I give a flying
Fuck if he's been signed
And he's baskin' in glory?
His mother is the dog from The Calcium Story!
Catch Osh', two hoes, 40 stone
Baskin' in glory
Fuck Conservatism, like I'm shaggin' a Tory
Lad, I'm an old-school legend at this shit
The scouse George Weah
You're like Heskey on Deadline Day
‘cause you don't want this, playa!
Lad, I want this, playa, like my life depends
This ain't a battle
This is fuckin' Ryan's Revenge
So I'll tell you straight from the
Goi've got an imagination barrier
So I'll use simple jokes
To assassinate your character
Like, you're crap, wanker
Like a masturbatin' amateur
I'llbackhand ya and every faggot
Rapper imitatin' after ya
Lad, one punch to your throat
Will cave his trachea
Boisht clothes are made in Africa!
Lad, you're the antihero of the shit
You're sick, you're smashing it
You're an amazing character
But don't get it twisted
Lad: I paved the path for ya
And listen, I've got no
Problem with Bradford
And I know the jokes are gettin' old
But, I love you, Lunar, mi amour
I know the joke is old
And I don't wanna be a bore
But, I live in Liverpool, by the Mersey
You live in Bradford, by Sharia law!

Startin' out as a battle rapper
I had only one fearending up like you
Fallin' off and still battling when
You're old is just weird
But this is easy, and even if the fans hate
And I get slept on
I'm makin' what you get from
It all in one year
Just for showin' up here!
You've seen his battles in every verse
He has at least one lame forced bar
So you know if you click
On one of his videos
You're gonna see a reach-around like
He's a gay porn star!
The highlights of your career were
Being mentioned in Nuts Magazine
And you once supported Plan B
But Nuts Magazine died in 2014
And for all we knowso did Plan B!
You're in your early 30s
But you look a lot older
All that weak shit you write
Doesn't cut it: stop, bro
You got a pad full of shite
Like a scruffy dog owner
I paid way too many coach rides to your ends
Just so your bitch could get this D
So you owe me, motherfucker
You shouldn't be disrespecting me
I paid to have your girl's womb removed
To avoid the risk of pregnancy
So, Eurgh, when you PayPal
Us for these rounds
You're paying for his direct to me!
That was a bar, but they
Want that old Lunar C, so
Flossie's vaginal cavity is like Wonderland
Every week, she fucks about a hundred man!
You was fistin' her the other
Dayand Innuendo shook your hand!
You pudgy little cock-boy!
I told your girl I wouldn't touch
Her with a fuckin' barge pole
But she asked politely
So I stuck it up her arsehole she's a slag
But this dick made her feel
Like she was a virgin
She couldn't even take the tip
Like a stubborn person!
I noticed something when you battled
Calcium Kid in Liverpool
All that random rhymes and
Simple humour shit is
Cool when you've had a drink or two
But watching it back
I see middle-school jokes is the
Only thing you do
No bars to mix in with it, too
I didn't really notice that when
I was in the room but it came out on camera
Like Eminem in The Interview!
You don't know me
I'll get five strangers to stomp you out
Until your head is caved in
And split open at an angle:
That's six degrees of separation
I was gonna let him livebut he's
Talkin' ‘bout Muslims in my town
And that's harsh!
And I'm religious with this shit
So I can't allow a wack bar!
See, I should probably slow that down
For anyone who's not understanding that
But, if you don't get a simple double
Meaning without me saying it twice
You shouldn't be watching battle rap!
Your style's stuck in the past, but I'll rate
You for not trying to keep up, though
‘Cause when everyone started
Actin' like Americans
And biting that Lux flow
You stuck to your irrelevant punchlines
And your mum jokes soit's mum joke time!
(I can't remember my older verse
So I'm gonna really)
But, yo, it's mum joke time!
Your mum's cunt's so wide
I can't even refer to it as
"where the sun don't shine!"
My dick wouldn't touch both sides
It's seen more action than one
Whole night in Bloodstro's life!
You're only good at bein' average
Your music's shit
You know that you can't fuck
With me on tracks
But, you're the funniest battle rapperafter
Big J, Marlo, Shuffle T, and Factz!
You're not even good at bein' that!
And you're, like
15 stone: you're not even good at bein' fat!
Speaking of Big Jyour battle with him
Looked like a father-and-son domestic
He beat you with one-syllable rhymes in
Your hometown: that is bad!
And what the fuck is that noise
You make when you speak!?
That's a letter that only
Scouses and Arabs have!
You're so angry at the fact you have to
Spend your dough money on your habit's that
You spit in your dealer's face every
Time you ask for CRRACHK!

These are Lunar's bars: Man'll say, "Yoooo!"
And half the crowd will go, "WHOOOOAAAA!"
Listen, fuckin' with me
That's some fake shit
Talkin' about Innuendo, that's some gay shit
He didn't shake me hand: he safed it!
I'll blindfold Lunar C
Then take the blindfold off to help Lunarsee
What letter comes in between B and D
Lunar? C! (Wordplay)
See, you can't fuck with me, G
I'm the king of these squabbles
Catch me in your famous pub
Swiggin' the bottles
Causing more trouble than King
Of the Ronalds! (O-o-o ohhh)
Man are like, "Is Oshea high rappin'? Or
Is that guy snappin'?"
Nah! Eurgh may have forgave you for saying
"Fuck Don't Flop"but I haven't!

I didn't say that

Yeah, you dickhead bellend!

No, I didn't, no, I didn't

I remember that shit from back in the day
He blew from battle rap
Then started chattin' battle rappin' is gay
Lad, I took that shit personal
Like a slap to the face and guess what
Dickhead? You're battle rappin' today!
So why the fuck is this faggot startin'?
Oshea push more ki's than Callum Martin
I'm fuckin' out of this world
Like I'm shaggin' Martians
I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish
I'll be y- Savage Garden!
Battle rap heavyweighter, MC devastator
I don't give a fuck if you gettin' paper
Your mother's a fatter slut
Than Meghan Trainor
Lad, he's been gone for three years
But no one gave a toss
These 10-year-olds might've, but eh
It's no major loss
He put his head on the line
But I'll take it off
And have his fam' dressed in black
Lookin' sad like Ravens Flock
Listen, this ain't no boxin' bout
Whoever said, "D-d-d-d-dick
" I'll knock you out
And the next line I'mma say
Is all kinds of gay but please, gay, Lord
If gay music find a way
So there's him and James Arthur's track
Called "See the Light of Day"

It didn't come out - it was shit

Yeah, it was shit
‘Cause, I was so angry when that got scrapped
That me mum got punched and
Me nan got slapped!
Me son got jumped and me dad got stabbed!
Flossie got strangled - but it had
Nothin' to do with that
My dick jokes will kick the
Shit outta your dick jokes
If you put on six stone
You'd weigh about six stone
Fuckin' with Osh'll get this
Arselick's wig blown
Like, there'll be DNA spread all over
The couch like Charlie Clips' home
You, you, and Stig are all bells!
When I heard "comeback of the year"
I thought Elz (Ls)
You can't fuck with my team
My clique is new cartel
From a place where there's high-risers
Everywhere like the British URL
You can't fuck with me, brother
I'm the best in the business
These bullets'll leave you holey
(holy) like you're extra religious
I'd tell your missus after sex
"It's the dishes" then dump her head in the
Water like developin' pictures!
Listen, you had three rounds prepared
I had two
Three rounds of wee, two rounds of poo
Listen! Freestyle shit!
You need to quitthat hat is shit
Yeah, that's time, time, time

There's no way that you could win
It's that simple
And you look like the missing
Linkbetween Phil and Grant Mitchell!
These newbies debate on how I
Got a name for myself
Some act like I don't deserve it
But them cunts know nothin'
‘Cause back when I battled
There was no one who sounded like me
And since then, for some reason
There's been a fuckload of ‘em!
They say I only have easy battles
And never faced a good contender
But back then
The most top-tier battler was fucking Sensa!
These cunts are quiet in person
But in their battles
They yell and throw shade on me
Like I'm some sort of villain
You know, yellow ‘fro, shades on me?
But fuck ‘em! That's not what I'm here for
Look, chode-neck
You was raised on a strict diet of dick meat
Your only passions are scat
Porn and child groomin'
You almost look borderline human
It's like somebody crossbred a hamster
And a racist person
If I slap you in them cheeks
It'll look like your face is twerkin'!
Yo, yoand excuse me while
I'm scratchin' this itch, but
My cock is scabby and blistered
From shaggin' your sister
‘Cause that bitch has actual
Crabs that have pincers!
Yo, he needs to quit the drugs
He's killin' himself
He probably robs his own mum's house
When his coke runs out
And you didn't ask for my advice, but please
Give it up now and whether you do that, or
Go slit your wrists, you need to cut down!
Yo, yo, you and Rikk Riley are in a
Crew called "Dick Limerick Academy"

Yeah! DLA!

Which is a little faggoty
That alone is questionable
Talkin' all that tough shit
Your retarded chav fans must
Be so impressionable
You're just fuckboyslike a homosexual!
Let me rap like one of them
URL pricks for a second, listen
I'll gun-butt him, then again
With the backhand, watch it hit Oshea
The bicep bisexual: it swing both ways
Catch you and Rikk Riley
Rappin' ‘bout your dicks, scoped in
Dent his head, one bullet kill ‘em both
You're hittin' Rikk, Oshea
And anyone else in the room
Get it? Ricochetin' anyone else in-
Oh, that was shit!
I'd rather talk about how I'm
A better rapper than you
Or how I shagged your mother
You can go and ask her: it's true
She'll tell you that my
Pullout game spectacular, too
I'll let it splash on her belly like
She ran a tap on a spoon!
You have a Dizaster shrine in your bedroom
You know all of his bars
And you and your girl rock
His-and hers The Saurus pyjamas!
Your dad's a prolific grummond
He's known for touchin' his kids
You remember the first time
You got in trouble, he flipped
And pulled his belt off: you thought
You was gonna get whipped
Then he undid his zip like
"Now you're suckin' his DICK!"
Being abused by his father
Made this crackhead resentful
Bad memories made him turn to
Drugs, thinking ‘bout his past, sentimental
When Charlie Clips killed you
He almost made you crywow
Flossie threw an orange and stormed off
To take some time out you was bitchin' like
"I'm fuckin' pissed off!"
Let me say this right now:
If you can't handle when
Charlie comes hard later, pipe down
You're supposed to leave groupies as soon
As you lay the pipe down
But, if you're gonna bring her
To battles, tell your lady, "Pipe DOWN!"
(Sorry, Flossie, I love you)
But she did try to take the whole
Shaft and have an anal prolapse
Oshea's a throwback
His granddad is also a racist old twat
With a head like a shaven gonad
This is you, listen:
"Your ma's pussy's large
‘cause it's strrretched!
She accidentally dropped you and gave you
Those scars on your head
When she was six months pregnant
By partin' her legs!
See, growing up, you had nobody to look up to
And your lack of neck made
It difficult to look up, too!"
Your hairline's so far back
It starts at your arsecrack time!