Ely Waves, Seon - It’s hard to be me lyrics

I carry myself
Through all of these memories, but
It's getting harder just to be me
Somebody save me

It's like everyday is a different struggle
Young man, but I found a hustle
E-L-Y, that's a piece of the puzzle
I'm really blessed, but I'm still stressed
How I lost my muscle at a young age
Changed me, I had blind rage
Saw the world as a still beige
Seemed to lose it's color
Self esteem, in an empty gutter
Was praying for flooding that never would
Cover the losses I took
Rather just die than admit to my
Family cause they would discover
The path that I took
Used drugs as a cover, to cover the fact
That I fucked up myself to a
Point where I'd never recover
Got lost in the lust and I fell for a lover
That never would love me
The way that I needed
Broken and pleading for someone to save me
But no one would save me
I thought that she would
But I ended up hurting somebody
That can't be replaced
Now when I look at life
I'm thinking like what a disgrace I made
Just dig me a grave and bury me deep
At least six feet
Cause I don't wanna breathe
And I don't wanna be
The person I turned out to be in end
Now I'm focused on turning
The page and becoming
A person that I could be proud of
Got tired of telling myself that I'm not it
So I gotta be it, before I would peace this
Yeah, making my peace i'm making my peace
Before I would peace this
Yeah, making my peace
Before it all tears me to pieces

I carry myself
Through all of these memories, but
It's getting harder just to be me
Somebody save me

Man I been lost for a while
Struggling finding my way in this life
I just forget how to smile
Wonder what happened wish that
I wasn't alive lately I been in denial
Saying I'm fine, running away from my mind
Shit ain't been right since the trail
It ain't been right since the trial
They locked me for up like a year
I ain't have nobody there
Couldn't run like I did in the past
And I was facing all my fears
Coming to terms with all that I've done
All the feelings starting to flood
I'm drowning alone I ran out luck
I was so close to just giving it up
Now I'm out but I don't feel like I'm free
On a mission tryna find all my dreams
To steady losing never getting no sleep
I'm feeling empty getting closer to e
So what do I do, and who do I be
Life it been weighing me down
I don't what I should think
Cause I get caught in my addiction
Tryna not to make a difference
Wishing I could stop the sinning
Knowing I can't be forgiving
My whole life I'm never winning
My whole I'm never winning, for real
I pray this a dream and
That none of this real
I'm waking up where I don't have to feel
Don't have to stress and I
Don't have to heal
I don't have to stress and
I don't have to heal

I carry myself
Through all of these memories, but
It's getting harder just to be me
Somebody save me