Eminem, Hailie Jade - My Dad's Gone Crazy lyrics

Television static
Eminem begins to snort cocaine

Hello, boys and girls! Today we're gonna
Talk about father and daughter
Relationships do you have a daddy?
I'll bet you do! Hailie opens the door
Eminem snorts cocaine who's your daddy?
Daddy, what are you doing?

Ha ha! Okay then! Everybody, listen up!
I'm goin' to hell! Who's comin' with me?
Somebody, please help him!
I think my dad's gone crazy!

There's no mountain I can't climb
There's no tower too high
No plane that I can't learn how to fly
What do I gotta do to get through to you
To show you there ain't nothin' I
Can't take this chainsaw to?
(Rahhnnn) Fuckin' brains
Brawn and brass balls
I cut 'em off and got 'em pickled
And bronzed in a glass jar inside of a hall
With my framed autographed sunglasses
With Elton John's name on my drag wall
I'm out the closet
I've been lyin' my ass off all this time
Me and Dre been fuckin' with hats off
(Suck it, marshall) So tell Laura and her
Husband to back off
'Fore I push this motherfuckin'
Button and blast off
And launch one of these Russians
And that's all
Blow every fuckin' thing except Afghanistan
On the map off when will it stop? When will
I knock the crap off?
(Knocking) Hailie, tell 'em
Baby! (My dad's lost it)

There's really nothin' else to say, I
I can't explain it
I think my dad's gone crazy!
A little help from Hailie Jade
Won't you tell 'em, maybe?
I think my dad's gone crazy!
There's nothin' you could do or say
That could ever change me
I think my dad's gone crazy!
There's no one on Earth that can save me
Not even Hailie
I think my dad's gone crazy! (Crazy)

It's like my mother always told me:
"Rana rana rana rana rana rana rana
Rana rana and codeine and
Goddamn it, you little motherfucker
If you ain't got nothin' nice to say
Then don't say nothin'!"
Uh… Fuck that shit, bitch!
Eat a motherfuckin' dick, chew on a prick
And lick a million motherfuckin'
Cocks per second i'd rather put out a
Motherfuckin' gospel record
I'd rather be a pussy-whipped bitch
Eat pussy and have pussy lips
Glued to my face
With a clit ring in my nose
Than quit bringin' my flows
Quit givin' me my ammo can't you
See why I'm so mean?
If y'all leave me alone this
Wouldn't be my MO
I wouldn't have to go eenee-meenee-meini-mo
Catch a homo by his toe, man
I don't know no more am I the only fuckin'
One who's normal anymore? (Dad)

There's really nothin' else to say, I
I can't explain it
I think my dad's gone crazy!
A little help from Hailie Jade
Won't you tell 'em, maybe?
I think my dad's gone crazy!
There's nothin' you could do or say
That could ever change me
I think my dad's gone crazy!
There's no one on Earth that can save me
Not even Hailie
I think my dad's gone crazy! (Crazy)

My songs can make you cry
Take you by surprise
At the same time, can make you dry your eyes
With the same rhyme, see, what you're seein'
Is a genius at work, which to me isn't work
So it's easy to misinterpret it at first
‘cause when I speak it's tongue-in-cheek
I'd yank my fuckin' teeth
Before I'd ever bite my tongue
I'd slice my gums
Get struck by fuckin' lightning twice at once
And die and come back as Vanilla Ice's son
And walk around the rest of my life spit on
And kicked and hit with shit
Every time I sung like R kelly as soon as
"Bump and Grind" comes on
More pain inside of my brain
Than the eyes of a little girl
Inside of a plane aimed at the World Trade
Standin' on Ronnie's grave
Screamin' at the sky
'Til clouds gather it's Clyde
Mathers and Bonnie Jade
And that's pretty much the gist of it
Parents are pissed, but the kids love it
9 millimeter heaters stashed in
Two-seaters with meat cleavers
I don't blame you
I wouldn't let Hailie listen to me neither

There's really nothin' else to say, I
I can't explain it
I think my dad's gone crazy!
A little help from Hailie Jade
Won't you tell 'em, maybe?
I think my dad's gone crazy!
There's nothin' you could do or say
That could ever change me
I think my dad's gone crazy!
There's no one on Earth that can save me
Not even Hailie
I think my dad's gone crazy! (Crazy)

Crazy ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
You're funny, Daddy!