Eminem - Role Model lyrics

Okay, I'm going to attempt to drown myself
You can try this at home
You can be just like me
Mic check, one-two, we recordin'?

I'm cancerous, so when I diss
You wouldn't wanna answer this
If you responded back with a battle
Rap you wrote for Canibus
I'll strangle you to death
Then I'll choke you again
And break your fuckin' legs 'til your
Bones poke through your skin
You beef with me, I'ma even the score equally
Take you on Jerry Springer and
Beat your ass legally
I get too blunted off of funny home grown
'Cause when I smoke out
I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono
(Oh no) So if I said I never did drugs
That would mean I lie and get
Fucked more than the President does
Hilary Clinton tried to slap me
And call me a pervert
I ripped her fuckin' tonsils out
And fed her sherbet (Bitch)
My nerves hurt, and lately I'm on edge
Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out
(C'mere) his blond dreads (Fuck you)
Every girl I ever went out with has gone les'
Follow me and do exactly what the song says
Smoke weed, take pills, drop out of school
Kill people and drink
Jump behind the wheel like it was still legal
I'm dumb enough to walk in a store and steal
So I'm dumb enough to ask for
A date with Lauryn Hill
Some people only see that I'm white
Ignorin' skill
'Cause I stand out like a green
Hat with a orange bill
But I don't get pissed
Y'all don't even see through the mist
How the fuck can I be
White? I don't even exist
I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave
Die from an overdose and dig myself
Up out of my grave
My middle finger won't go down
How do I wave?
And this is how I'm supposed to
Teach kids how to behave?

Now, follow me and do exactly what you see
Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me?
I slap women and eat shrooms, then OD
Now, don't you want to grow up
To be just like me?

Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole
When we heard a knock at the door
Must've been Ron Gold
Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold
Killed them both
Then smeared blood on the white Bronco
(We did it) My mind won't work
If my spine don't jerk
I slapped Garth Brooks out
Of his rhinestone shirt
I'm not a player, just a ill rhyme sayer
That'll spray a aerosol can up
At the ozone layer my rap style's warped
I'm runnin' out the morgue
With your dead grandmother's corpse to
Throw it on your porch
Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon
With a cape on
And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with an acorn
I'm 'bout as normal as Norman
Bates with deformative trait's
A premature birth that was four minutes late
Mother, are you there? I love you
I never meant to hit you over
The head with that shovel (That shovel)
Will someone please explain to my brain
That I just severed the main vein with
A chainsaw and I'm in pain?
I take a breather and sigh
Either I'm high or I'm nuts
'Cause if you ain't tiltin' this room
Neither am I so when you see your mom with
A thermometer shoved in her ass
Then it probably is obvious I
Got it on with her
'Cause when I drop this solo shit
It's over with
I bought Cage's tape, opened it
And dubbed over it

I came to the club drunk with a fake ID
Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me?
I've been with ten women who got HIV
Now, don't you wanna grow up
To be just like me?
I got genital warts and it burns when I pee
Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me?
I tie a rope around my penis
And jump from a tree
You probably wanna grow up to be just like me