Ethel Cain - Varnish lyrics

There’s a painting that hangs
Up above my bed it’s a portrait of what
I once had with you
Bloody reds and virgin blues
Where we danced laughing in the hues
Now form a bruise

I burnt all my candles waiting up for you
Told myself that you’d come back
If I prayed hard enough
And I knew it wasn’t true
Cause I had so much left to lose
But not my youth

So I got my brushes
And I painted you right out because

I tried i did
I ripped myself right open
Just to let you in but it hurt
It hurt so much so I took all of my black
And covered up the evidence

What once was young now grows old
In a frame of black and gold

Your body sprawled out on the sheets
Veins of blue and eyes of green
And flushed cheeks of vibrant pinks
In that painting

It was just as much my fault as it was yours
I painted you as a saint and myself a whore
As I thought of what you tarnished
My tears ruined all the varnish
But still I kept it

Cause if I forget you and you come back
I might forgive you

I tried i did
I ripped myself right open
Just to let you in but it hurt
It hurt so much so I took all of my black
And covered up the evidence
What once was there has now been lost
And you took the fruit and I paid the cost

I’ll sing a song for you in the evening
When the sun goes down
And it’s too dark to see
Please don’t ever seek me out
Cause I could not turn you away
I never thought to learn how

I’ll sing a song for you in the evening
When the sun goes down
And it’s too dark to see
Please don’t ever seek me out
Cause I could not turn you away
I never thought to learn how

I’ll sing a song for you in the evening
When the sun goes down
And it’s too dark to see
Please don’t ever seek me out
Cause I could not turn you away
I never thought to learn how
God knows I tried i did
I ripped myself right open
Just to let you in god knows I tried
I did i ripped myself right open
Just to let you in but it hurt
It hurt so much so I took all of my black
And covered up the evidence
I’m all out of tears cause I cried them all
When I gave you my best years
So I’ll rip that painting from my wall
For I’ve no more room in my house for you
My dear

So I took fire to my art
Then set alight myself
And at last I could die with you
I always wanted nothing else