Frank Zappa - Act I Liner Notes lyrics

Desperate nerds in high offices all over
The world have been known to
Enact the most disgusting
Pieces of legislation in order to win votes
(or, in places where they don't get to vote
To control unwanted forms of mass behavior)

Environmental laws were not passed
To protect our
Air and water they were passed to
Get votes seasonal anti-smut
Campaigns are not
Conducted to rid our communities of
Moral rot they are conducted to give an
Aura of saintliness to the office-seekers
Who demand them if a few key
Phrases are thrown into any speech
(as the expert advisors explain to these
Various heads of state) votes
Will roll in, bucks will roll
In, and, most importantly
Power will be maintained by the groovy guy
(or gal) who gets the most media
Coverage for his sleaze naturally
His friends in various businesses
Will do okay too

All governments perpetuate themselves
Through the daily commission of acts which
A rational person might find to
Be stupid or dangerous
(or both) naturally, our government is
No exception for instance, if the President
(any one of them) went on TV
And sat there with the
Flag in the background
(or maybe a rustic scene on a
Little backdrop, plus the flag) and stared
Sincerely into the camera
And told everybody that all energy problems
And all inflationary problems had
Been traced to and
Could be solved by the abolition of MUSIC
Chances are that most people would
Believe him and think that the
Illegalization of this obnoxious form
Of noise pollution would be a small price to
Pay for the chance to buy gas like the good
Ol' days no way? Never happen? Records are
Made out of oil all those big rock shows go
From town to town in
Fuel-gobbling 45 foot trucks
And when they get there
They use up enormous amounts
Of electrical energy with their
Lights, their amplifiers
Their PA systems their smoke machines and
All those synthesizerslook at all the
Plastic they got in 'em and the
Guitar picks you name it

JOE'S GARAGE is a stupid story
About how the government
Is going to try to do away with music
(a prime cause of unwanted
Mass behavior)! It's
Sort of like a really cheap kind
Of high school play the way it might
Have been done 20 years ago
With all the sets made
Out of cardboard boxes and poster
Paint it's also like
Those lectures that local narks used to give
(where they show you a display of all
The different ways you can get wasted
With the pills leading to the weed leading
To the needle, etc, etc) if the
Plot of the story seems just
A little bit preposterous
And if the idea of The Central
Scrutinizer enforcing laws that haven't been
Passed yet makes you giggle
Just be glad you don't live in
One of the cheerful little countries
Where, at this very moment
Music is either severely
Restricted or, as it is in Iran
Totally illegal