Frank Zappa - Another M.O.I. Anti-Smut Loyalty Oath (Anyway The Wind Blows) lyrics

Alright we have another special thing
We have to do
Before we begin our program it's a
Little problem that we
Run into every time we play
In a socially retarded
Area basically what it amounts to is
This Some people have the
Wrong idea about what
Our musical ensemble is all about, you know
They have these praised fantasies
About what we're
Gonna do when we get on stage
You see? And Florida being the great place
That it is has quite a few
Of these fantasies and, you know
They're disturbing
Enough that some promoters and uh
Important people down here deemed
That necessary to
Put special clauses into our contract
That would preclude anything that would fall
Under the classification of obscenity or
Weirdness on stage
So to prove that our heart is in the
Right place we're gonna take a loyalty oath
Now on stage
Swear it before you everybody in the
Band, raise your right hand! i hereby, no "I
" then you say your name

I (I volman)
Do hereby solemnly swear
(Do hereby solemnly swear)
In accordance with the laws of
The great state of Florida
(In accordance with the laws of
The great state of Florida)
And the demands of rednecks everywhere
(And the demands of rednecks everywhere)
Do hereby solemnly (Do hereby solemnly)
Agree (Agree)
Under no circumstances whatsoever
(Under no circumstances whatsoever)
Outside of a private showing in
The hotel some place (Outside call me later)
I hereby swear I would not whip out my tool
(Tool)

Rod (Rod)

Penis (Penis)
Or any other name that you wanna call
(Or any other name right on) pull your legs
(Right) here in Florida
(yeah) in the rock & roll industry
(yeah) so help me God
(So help me God)

(Thank you) as we