Frank Zappa - Cheepnis lyrics

Cheepnis let me tell you something
Do you like monster movies? Anybody?

(yeah)

I love monster movies, I simply adore monster
Movies, and the cheaper they are
The better they are and cheepnis
In the case of a
Monster movie has nothing to do
With the budget of the film
Although it helps but true
Cheepnis is exemplified
By visible nylon strings attached to the
Jaw of a giant spider i'll tell you, a
Good one that I saw one time
I think the name of the film
Was "It Conquered The World"
(yeah) And the did you ever see
That one? The monster looks sort
Of like an inverted ice-cream cone
With teeth around the bottom
It looks like a
Like a teepee or a rounded off pup-tent
Affair and ah, it's got fangs
On the base of it
I don't know why but it's a
Very threatening sight and then he's
Got a frown and, you know
Ugly mouth and everything
And there's this one scene where
The ah monster is coming
Out of a cave see? There's always a scene
Where they come out of a cave
At least once and the rest of the
Cast it musta been made arond 1950's the
Lapels are about like that wide
The ties are about that wide
And about this short
And they always have a little revolver that
They're gonna shoot the monster with and
There is always a girl who falls
Down and twists her ankle hey
Hey! of course there is! You know how
They are, the weaker sex and everything
Twisting
Their ankle on behalf of a little ice-cream
Cone well in this particular scene, in
This scene, they ah
They didn't wanna re take it 'cause
It musta been so good
They wanted to keep it, but they when
The monster came out of the cave
Just over on the left hand side of the
Screen you see about this much two-by-four
Attached to the bottom of the thing as
The guy is pushing it out
And then obviously off-camera somebody's
Goin': "no! get
It back!" and they drag it just
A little bit as the guy is
Goin': "kch! kch!" Now that's cheepnis!

Right and this is cheepnis here:
One two three four

I ate a hot dog it tasted real good
Then I watched a movie from Hollywood

Little miss muffett on a squat by me
Took a turn around, I said: can y'all see?
The little strings on the giant spider? "
The zipper from the black lagoon?
The vents by the tanks where
The bubbles go up?
(And the flaps on the side of the moon)

The jelly & paint on the 40 watt bulb
They use when the slime droozle off
The rumples & the wrinkles
In the cardboard rock
And the canvas of the cave is too soft

The suit's & the hats & the tie's too wide
And too short for the scientist man
The chemistry lady with the roll-away mind
And the monster just ate Japan

Ladies and gentlemen the monster
Which the peasants in this
Area call Frunobulax
(apparently a very large poodle dog)
Has just been seen approaching
The power plant bullets can't stop it
Rockets can't stop it
We may have to use nuclear force!
Here comes that poodle dog!
Big as a blimp with a rhinestone collar
Snappin' off the trees
Like they was bonsai'd ornaments on a
Dry-wobble landscape
Keep it away! don't let the poodle bite me!
We can't let it reproduce! oh!
Somebody get out the pants!

The national guard has formed up at the base
Of the mountain
And is attempting to lure the enormous poodle
Towards the cave
Where they hope to destroy it with napalm
A thousand of the troopers are now lined up
And are calling to the monster here fido
Here fido here fido

Got a great big slimey thing
Got a great big heavy thing
Got a great big poodle thing
Got a great big hairy thing

C'mon! everybody! let's go!
Get the distilled water! get
The canned goods!
Get the toilet paper! you know we need it!

Go to da shelter my baby, my baby
Go to da shelter go to da shelter

Little miss muffett on a squat by me
Can ya see the little string danglin' down
Makes the legs go wabble an'
The mouth flop shut
An' the horrible eye, horrible eye
Horrible eye go rollin' around
Can why'see it all can why'see it from here
Can why'laugh till yer weak on yer knees
If you can't, I'm sorry 'cause that's
All I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please