Frank Zappa - Crew Slut lyrics

But one night, at the Social Club meeting
Mary didn't show up
She was sucking cock backstage at The Armory
In order to get a pass
To see some big rock group for free

Backstage at the local Armory, MARY
In her little white dress
Is wiping the remnants of her performance off
The side of her mouth as LARRY
(the guy from the garage who quit the
Band in order to make an honest
Living) zips up the front of his
Stinking boiler suit and sings to
The same teen-age girls who were stomping
And clapping a little while ago, as
They kneel with their little pink mouths
Open near the crew bus
Hoping to save the price of admission
By performing acts of Hooverism
On the jolly lads who set up the P a system



Hey, hey hey all you girls
In these industrial towns
I know you're prob'ly gettin' tired
Of all the local clowns
They never give you no respect
They never treat you nice
So perhaps you oughta' try
A little friendly advice and be a crew slut
Hey, you'll love it be a crew slut
It's a way of life be a crew slut
See the world
Don't make a fuss, just get on the bus
Crew slut add water, makes it's own sauce
Be a crew slut so you don't forget
Call before midnite tonite
The boys in the crew are just waiting for you

You never get to move around
You never go nowhere
I know yer prob'ly gettin' tired of
All the guys out there
You always wondered what it's like to
Go from place to place so, darlin'
Take a little ride on the mixer's face

And be a crew slut
Just follow the magic footprints
Be a crew slut hey, you'll love it!
Be a crew slut it's a way of life
I ain't gonna squash it and you
Don't need to wash it! Crew slut
Hey, I'll buy you a pizza be a crew slut
Of course I'll introduce you to Warren
The boys in the crew are only waiting for you

At this point, the road crew, as all
Road crews must from time to time
Borrow some of the big rock group's equipment
And have a blues jam session
Indicating to the kneeling maidens that they
Are endowed with a great deal of raw talent
As well as massive meat
Obviously impressed with LARRY'S
Ability to suck so hard on his
Harmonica that screeching little noises
Come out of it, mARY
Kneels again and reaches upward
In gestures of supplication
Listening intently as LARRY continues to sing

Well you been to Alabama, girl
'n Georgia too and all the boys in the crew
Is bein' good to you
I know you're sayin' to yourself "This
Is the way to go"
Cause when you need a little extra
They will give you some mo'

Cause you're the crew slut i'm into leather
That's good! Crew slut
A lot of the boys in the crew love leather
And rubber? Crew slut
Yeah, they like rubber too shrink
Tubing with a hair dryer
Trade your spot on the bench for
A guy with a wrench and be a crew slut
Ha ha ha you like that, huh?
Crew slut i told you you'd love it
It's a way of life! The guys in the crew
Have got a present for you!
A present for me? We got a present for you!
Whaddya got? Whaddya gonna give me?
It looks just like a Telefunken U-47
You'll love it with leather?
Eh errr, eh eh this
Is the Central Scrutinizer, again
And so Mary was enticed away from Joe
By an evil barbarian with a
Wrench in his pocket
Lured into a life of sleazery
With the entire road crew of
Some famous rock group
I don't know whether it was
Really Toad-O or not
I don't know i'll check it out-
Again we see music causing big trouble!