Frank Zappa - I'm A Band Leader lyrics

Captain Beefheart (vocals)

I'm a band leader not only can
I drink a whole lot, but I play 23
Different instruments
Too and I don't even know
How to read music self taught
You know couldn't tell it, though
To hear me play when I play
And sway in rhythm to the
Catchy little tunes that I know for five
Miles around get hot pants for me, hotcha!

Last night was pretty good for a Wednesday we
Got ten requests for, we got Bill Bailey
And we played them all and we got seven
People came up for the twist contest
I gave away a box with two small
Bottles of champagne imported from Europe
(heh) and kissed the girl who won and
Shook hands with the guy she
Was with he didn't mind when I
Kissed her because I'm important

We have a new routine been working on
It for three weeks or more i
Pretend I'm a queer and the sax
Player pretends he's a queer, too
And later on in the show
(thisll kill ya) we kiss each other so that
It looks to the audience like we
Kiss each other on the mouth
(heh) when we go into a fast number, GOD
The people love it! Wait till
We get to Las Vegas!

(Ha heh heh)