Frank Zappa - Lonesome Cowboy Nando lyrics

My name is Nando i'm a marine biologist
All my friends they call me "Doh"

Hi, Doh!

All my family from someplace in this area
And they complain if I talk
About this horrible pizza during the show

Come out here, to Californy
Just to find me some pretty girls
Ones I seen gets me so horny
Ruby lips, 'n teeth like pearls

Wanna love 'em all, wanna love 'em dearly
Wanna a jellyfish, I'll even pay
I'll buy 'em furs, I'll buy 'em pizza
I know they like me, here's what I'll say:

I'm lonesome cowboy Burt speakin' atcha!
Won'tcha smell my fringe-y shirt?
Reekin' atcha! My cowboy pants
My cowboy dance my bold advance
On this here waitress

He's lonesome cowboy Burt a-Ha!
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt

Come on in this place
An' I'll buy you a taste
You can sit on my face where's my waitress?

Burtram, Burtram redneck!
Burtram, Burtram redneck!

I'm an awful nice guy
Worked all day in the sun
I'm a roofer by trade
Quite a bundle I've made
I'm a unionized roofin' old son-of-a-gun

He's a unionized roofin' old son of a gun!

"Darling, I crazy go nuts when I hear this
You know what I'm sayin'?"

When I get off, I get plastered
I swim till I fall on the jellyfish
Then I find me some
Academic kind of illustrator
I describe the little dangling
Utensils on this thing
And tell him to draw it up
So it looks just like a brand new jellyfish

(trying to follow along
They sing some gibberish)

"Take that! Take that!"
I fuss an' I cuss and I keep on swimmin'
Till my snorkel puffs up an' turns red
I drool on my shorts i do some water sports
Then I take the jellyfish back to my house
And stick it in the bed! "Sorta"

"Whaddya do?" stick it again in the bed!

"That's right!

Stick it again in the bed!
Stick it again in the bed!
Stick it again in the bed!

Lonesome cowboy Burt speakin' atcha!
Smell my fringe-y shirt reekin' atcha!
My cowboy pants my cowboy dance
My bold advance on this here waitress!

He's lonesome cowboy Burt yee ha!
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt!

Come on in this place
An' I'll buy you a taste
You can sit on my face where's my waitress?

"Opal, you hot little bitch!"