Frank Zappa - Scrutinizer Postlude lyrics

This is the Central Scrutinizer again
Hi! It's me again, the Central Scrutinizer
Joe says Lucille has messed his mind up
But, was it the girl or was it the music?
As you can see girls, music, disease
Heartbreak they all go together
Joe found out the hard way
But his troubles were just beginning
His mind was so messed up
He could hardly do nothin'
He was in a quandary
Being devoured by the swirling cesspool
Of his own steaming desires
The guy was a wreck, so, what does he do?
For once, he does something smart
He goes out and pays a lot
Of money to L ron Hoover
At the First at the Pch hem
He goes out and pays a lot
Of money to L ron Hoover
At the First Church of Appliantology!

Eventually it was discovered that God did
Not want us to be all the same this was BAD
NEWS for the Governments of
The World as it seemed contrary to
The doctrine of Portion Controlled
Servings mankind must be made more
Uniformly if THE FUTURE
Was going to work various ways were sought
To bind us all together, but
Alas SAMENESS was unenforceable it
Was about this
Time that someone came up with
The idea of TOTAL CRIMINALIZATION
Based on the principle that if
We were ALL crooks
We could at last be uniform to some
Degree in the eyes of THE LAW
Shrewdly our legislators calculated that most
People were too lazy to
Perform a REAL CRIME so
New laws were manufactured
Making it possible
For anyone to violate them any time
Of the day or night
And, once we had all broken some kind of law
We'd all be in the same big
Happy club, right up there with the
President, the most exalted industrialists
And the clerical big shots of all your
Favorite religions tOTAL CRIMINALIZATION
Was the greatest idea of it's time
And was vastly popular
Except with those people
Who didn't want to be crooks
Or outlaws so, of course
They had to be TRICKED INTO IT which is one
Of the reasons why music
Was eventually made Illegal