Frank Zappa - The Jazz Discharge Party Hats lyrics

Once upon a time
It was in Albuquerque, New Mexico
There were these girls that
Worked at the college
The were really cool, they thought so anyway
The would be delighted to tell
You how suave they were at the drop of a hat

There was three of 'em
One of them thought she was a beauty queen
The other one was a walking blow-Job
And then there was this skinny girl oh well
Some of the guys in the band got together
With the girls from the college
They were having a good time
We were in Albuquerque for a couple of days
But these girls thought they were Hot Shit
And wouldn't pooch the guys in the band
On the first day, so
A couple of the guys in the band
Who were desparate for that kind of action
Kept working on them for two days
Which is a waste of fuckin time anyway
So, anyway
But if that's your idea of a good time
What the hey?

Send those pants up here! Here's some more!
Okay, good-good!
Traditional cottonoh, how sweet!
Umhuh huh huh huh here, work these!

Anyway we're in Albuquerque, New Mexico
A couple of the guys in the band
Who shall go nameless
Because their girlfriends might find out
Decided they were gonna work the wall
On these girls from the college
So, one nightit was the first night
When they were still trying to
'get it in there'
Ya know what I mean? Huh huh huh huh
The skinny girl
She says to one of the guys in the band
She says, well
To several of the guys in the band
And one of the T-shirt guys too
Hey, let's go skinny dipping
At two o'clock in the morning at
The pool at the hotel
That's right, your heard right
Two o'clock in the morning
Pool at the hotel, it was so fun
But the water was very, very cold!
So they go out there and the
Girl who was really skinny
And probably totally insensitive
To climatic changes
Took all of her garments off and
She jumped in the pool
And she says, "Hey guys, come on in"
Well, one of them did
The other one was too smart for that shit
So him and the T-shirt guy say
By the edge of the pool
And when the girl who was really skinny
And insensitive to climatic changes
Took off her clothes and jumped in the pool
She threw her pants over there
By the little table
Well, one of the guys in the
Band picked up her panties
He told me later the stuff in the bottom
Was like punching an eclair
Anyhowthere was nothing else to do
It was Albuquerque, New Mexico
It's two o'clock in the morning
They're not going to get any nooky anyway
So this one guy and the T-shirt guy
Started sniffing the girl's panties
They were sniffing the fudge
And sniffing the glue
Sniffing everything that adhered to these
Delightful little morsels
Some of you might think this is weird
No wonder it's not exactly normal
But what the fuck? So, they're snorting it
Hey! It's the twentieth century
Whatever you can do to have a good time
Let's get on with it
So long as it doesn't cause a murder

So they're snorting the pants
And then they put them on their heads
They were having a good time
The girl was in the water
She didn't even see
What was going on with her underpants
They were wearing the pants
It looked just like a tiny little party hat
Their ears were sticking out the side
It was so fun later on they discovered
This would make a great way of life for them
They would go from town to town
Looking for panties
They would take the panties after
They were hung up on the clothes line
Later on they would take them
Back in the dressing room
They would play with them
They would fetish the underpants
They would snort every little morsel attached
To the underpants and then
They would feel that they were fulfilled
And so you can see
That what we're doing here on stage
Is part of a great American tradition
The tradition of the
Jazz discharge party hats