Dan Bull, The Stupendium, Freshy Kanal - The Grinch vs. Ebenezer Scrooge lyrics

RAP BATTLE! THE GRINCH!
VERSUS! Ebenezer scrooge!
BEGIN!

There once was a posh prick
Dressed awfully prim
Though his face was two sizes
Too small for his chin
"Ring my Belle" thought the man
"With the ring I'll propose with"
Then she saw his Dickens
And young Scrooge got ghosted
Ohh! You're turning to dust
The Who's down in Whoville are asking
Who's heard of this schmuck
A beast when I'm roasting
Forget Christmas goose
Today we shall serve a McDuck
Insult my appearance
And this petty geezer's doomed
He left every reader and theatre spookеd
Have a white Christmas
Forevеr alone in your bed ebenezer Splooge


I'd prefer the presence
Of a phantom over this freak
Nobody's felt this much
Disappointment since the Grinch leaks
Put your money where your nose is
Your business is atrocious
That plan doesn't work
Did you steal it from the homeless?
Even Cindy knows you're a children's clone
That only fit's the mold of
All the Christmas tropes
Not a single soul would kiss this old
Abysmal troll when his feet are looking
Like a bunch of mistletoes
Besides Max you're hated
Rolled in Santa's grave
You're all mucked up
You think your tax evasion
And lack of patience
Could match the green stacks I'm making?
Bah Humbug! People like you don't know how
To treat my plate
I'm feasting on the mountain of
The fees I'm paid
You couldn't bare a second
Before you're quitting the battle
If you don't get babysitted by the CIA
Tried to amaze your crush with a shaver
But then you also bombed that
When the only thing you ever managed
To properly cut was her contact


At least I've been trying
To gain some attention
You're quietly kicking the bucket
Got a stick up your buttocks
No wonder you hung out around Muppets
Take a quick peek at Tiny Tim, please
The kids' kidneys are getting poisoned
I'd suggest calling Dr seuss
But you're too stingy to book an appointment
Raps tighter than my shoes
Mount Crumpit MC's crumble
Crumpets to pieces
This cabbage head is screwed
A lime-coloured G's giving
Limeys a squeezing i'm sick of this twit
The age must have gone to your head
You're delusional
I was annoyed by the Whos and their noise
So for dead silence, I went to your funeral

I should've known
You'd flop another altercation
Your ratings are dropping harder
Than the surplus population
So before he can escape
I'll grab this bloody mongrel
And call for him to be euthanized
'Fore I employ some hunters
To go trap this Oscar the Couch
And once we loot the prize
And I'll leave you dehumanized
And every single Who that died
We'll use the hide as a Christmas tree
To sell to the wealthy people of humankind
At a properly boosted price


Gruss vom
Krampus
Did someone call for fire on the hook?
This pair of horrid grumps
Have fueled the rage within me
So I can assure you that
Your Christmas won't be merry
When I'm poppin down your chimney
Cuz I'm Cappin the list of this capitalist
You dug your own grave, now you're buried
But I gotta say out of
All the Christmas Carreys
I find Mariah more scary
Booh! Attacking your dreams like the Sandman
I'll cram these pussies right
Into my knapsack
Sleigh the track with your egregious bars
I've seen better writing on greeting cards
You think you're finding closure
To redeem yourself?
This miserable miser's never getting near it
After all the only presence
In your dining hall you'll ever get are
That of haunting spirit's
Skin to cash to envy
Green will always be the thing
That's causing you to rot away
And once you start to turn to bones
You'll wish it was a nightmare
When you try to jack the holidays
You'll be shelved cuz I got no hope
Both your hearts never really showed growth
So let's see how you try to
Change your view of the world
When you're stuck inside my snow globe

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
The next rap battle is on the way!